Invincible by Amy Reed

Seventeen-year-old Evie Whinsett was diagnosed with cancer a year ago - a small tumour in her left hip. Evie has Ewing's sarcoma, a type of cancer almost entirely restricted to teenagers. She had surgery to remove the tumour but then it became aggressive while she was in outpatient treatment, receiving rounds of chemotherapy every other three weeks. The soreness in her hip that existed after surgery felt different and two months ago doctors discovered the cancer had spread from her hip into her femur. Following radiation treatments, Evie suffered an accident while walking around Lake Merritt with her boyfriend, Will. Walking with a cane and in terrible pain, Evie collapsed as her left leg broke into five pieces.  Now she's back in Oakland Children's Hospital hospital struggling to cope with whatever the doctors find.

After going outside to catch some fresh air with her parents and sister Jenica, they meet with Dr. Jacobs who tells her that the prognosis is not good. Dr. Jacobs tells her that the cancer has metastasized and is now in her bone marrow which is why her leg broke. He recommends that after her broken leg heals, she go on an even more aggressive round of chemo and radiation and that she have a bone marrow transplant. All this is too much for Evie who decides, to the shock of her parents, that she will stop treatment. Over her parent's objections, Evie tells them with only a four percent chance of remission, she's done. For Evie, "...it is time to die. It's time to let everyone off the hook, let Mom and Dad get on with their lives and stop wasting all their energy on the wrong daughter."

Evie tells her two best friends in the hospital, Stella who has leukemia and Caleb who has brain cancer, that she will be going home in a few days because her cancer is terminal.  Evie first met Stella eight months ago when she was returning for her third round of chemo. Stella with her black felt hat is her best friend in their cancer world. Outside of hospital that honour belongs to Kasey Wexler-Beene whom Evie has known since kindergarten.  Telling Kasey was the hardest because she had to deal with Kasey's emotional response. The person Evie does not know how to tell is her boyfriend, Will Johnson, who is on their high school football team and who has been by her side through everything.

Evie's discharge is delayed after Will, drops his laptop on her injured leg. One day Stella, with the help of Caleb, spirits Evie out of the hospital and into her boyfriend, Cole's van. With Evie strapped down in a wheelchair in the back of the van, the three of them drive into the hills where they can see the lights of Oakland, the Bay Bridge and the San Francisco skyline. Stella gives Evie a CD of music which she tells Evie has music that is about questioning authority and "not believing blindly just because someone with power tells you something's true." She also introduces Evie to smoking pot. When Cole drops Evie and Stella off near the hospital which is in lock-down mode because they have gone missing. Nurse Moskowitz meets them and admonishes Evie for leaving and for taking the risk to Stella's health. "I don't understand how this became my fault, but I say sorry anyway. I look to Stella for some clue, but her eyes are glazed over and dim, like she used up every last ounce of strength she had in her for the trip..." Nurse Moskowitz realizes that Stella is running a high fever and tells Evie that with Stella being neutropenic (that is she has few white blood cells to fight off infection), she has no immune system.

The next day Stella visits Evie in a wheelchair and Evie realizes that despite Stella's strong personality, she appears very frail. Meanwhile Evie finds she feels stronger after her outing. "It's like last night changed something even deeper, like everything inside me has been turned upside down, or like the balance of the universe is off somehow..." However, Stella's visit ends with a terrible coughing fit and when Evie visits her the next day, she finds Stella hooked up to many machines and tubes. Stella tells Evie that her roommate has been moved down the hall which is an unspoken indication that Stella is probably dying.

Dr. Jacobs tells Evie's parents that she will be able to go home once her pain has stabilized but he wants to keep her a few more days to run tests. Inexplicably, Evie seems to be getting stronger and improving. For Evie this is shocking. "For so long, my life was on hold. Now my death is on hold, and it's just as irritating. " But while Evie is improving, Stella dies, leaving Evie unmoored and angry. Dr. Jacobs reveals that Evie's tests reveal that she is completely healthy - a miracle. Evie is discharged from hospital and sent home. But Evie's return to the land of the living is marred with anger and guilt. Cancer has changed her and she's no longer the person she was a year ago.

Discussion

Invincible is a very melodramatic novel that tackles terminal cancer, drug addiction and the emotional fallout of being a cancer survivor.  Evie's miraculous recovery seems to be a plot device for the author to explore several other issues such as identity, terminal illness, and drug addiction. 

From the day she is pronounced healthy, Evie is not happy as she struggles to discover her new identity. "I should feel something. Happy. Grateful. But I keep thinking about how the last thing Stella probably saw was a ceiling identical to this one, an empty expanse of flat, lifeless white..." When she returns home from the hospital, Evie feels she is no longer "Cancer Girl" but she doesn't know who she is. Evie's pain over Stella is so overwhelming that she no longer loves the things she did before she got sick. "Maybe Will can make me feel better. Maybe he'll take me into his arms and squeeze some joy into me. But what I really want to do is get into bed and sleep for as long as it takes for me to feel like doing all the things I used to love doing. I want to sleep until I can forget that Stella's gone."  As her family and friends try to pick up their lives and relationships with Evie once again, she resists. "I want to agree with them, but something inside me says not so fast. I'm not the girl they remember. I'm not anyone they know." In a letter she writes to Stella, Evie wonders who she now is. "If I'm not Cancer Girl, who am I exactly?" Crutches Girl? Gimpy-Leg Girl?...Everyone thinks I'm still so fragile. Don't they realize I survived? Don't they realize how tough that makes me?"

Evie struggles because she feels she has changed and that her family and friends do not recognize this. She feels people only know how to deal with her as a sick person, especially her mother, whom she describes as a helicopter parent with "her propellers buzzing." Kasey and Will are her two closest friends but she does not know how to talk with them - "...no one know what to do with me, and I don't know what to do with them."

She begins abusing Norco a drug prescribed to her for pain in her hip. When Dr. Jacob tells her he wants her weaned off the Norco, Evie decides she needs to find out where her mother is hiding the pills. Soon she is taking large quantities of pills to deaden the emotional pain she feels. During this time Evie meets a complete stranger, Marcus Lyon, who is from a wealthy family. Evie likes Marcus because he doesn't know her past and therefore doesn't view her as fragile. Her relationship with Marcus is based on shared pain and smoking pot together. But Marcus has his own demons; he's a stoner, and he cuts himself to cope with the pain of his older brother's suicide.  However, not even her relationship with Marcus is able to stop Evie's self destructive behaviour. She alienates her parents, her boyfriend Will whom she dumps, and her best friend Kasey. Evie fails all her classes and she shows up at her prom stoned and drunk. Soon even Marcus begins to recognize that Evie is not well.

Reed does a good job of portraying Evie's decline into opiate addiction and binge drinking to numb the pain she is feeling. She becomes a truly despicable character that readers have a hard time sympathizing with. In contrast to Evie, are her parents, especially her mother, who seem at a loss as to how to deal with her. Only her father seems to understand what is going on, yet he leaves her to make her own choices, believing that she needs to want to be helped. By the time Evie's parents have clued in to what's happening, it's almost too late. It is this part of the story that is troubling because most parents would likely have intervened well before this point. The fact that Evie begins to fail school and cannot seem to relate to any of her friends and appears to have undergone a serious personality change would indicate that all is not well.

Reed has populated her story with many interesting characters. Stella Hsu, an Asian girl with "beautiful black hair,,,long and straight and perfect." is sassy and quite witty. Cole who is a girl, who dresses as a boy and is Stella's devoted boyfriend, is caring. Will Johnson and Kasey are the foils to Evie, representing what she once was, a good student, a faithful friend and a positive, caring person. Marcus, despite being the person who likes to get stoned with Evie and who introduces her to magic mushrooms, is someone who has suffered but seems to be surviving. He begins to recognize that Evie is in trouble and tries to change her perspective on what is happening. "You keep acting like your invincible, but your life is falling apart. I can't stand watching you self-destruct. I love you too much. Nobody's invincible, not even you."  What we don't know is, is he too late? Although the advance descriptions of the novel suggest that Evie's problem will be dating a bad boy, Marcus is not the completely bad character he's made out to be. Marcus's problems simply exacerbate the ones Evie already has.

One of the reason's Reed is able to create realistic situations involving Evie and portray her self-destruction is that Reed herself did two stints in rehabilitation for drugs. She writes in an interview that "I didn't get high for fun like everyone else. I did it because I had to. It was the only way to keep myself from feeling all the horrible feelings that kept piling on the more I went in the wrong direction and the more I kept hurting myself. " Reed was both an alcoholic and a drug addict. After her second stint in rehab, Reed has remained clean. She's now a successful author who knows much about how life can sometimes spiral out of control.

Amy Reed is planning a second book, Unforgivable, which will be published in 2016.

Book Details:
Invincible by Amy Reed
New York: Katherine Tegen Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers      2015
325 pp.

Better Than Perfect by Melissa Kantor

Better Than Perfect is a story about a girl whose perfect life is not so perfect for her. It's about a girl beginning to discover just who she really is and what she might want out of life. And it's not the perfect life she has lined up for herself.

Synopsis

Juliet Newman's life has turned upside down with the separation of her parents. Her perfect family is no more. Her life plan was to ace the SAT and attend Harvard early action with her handsome boyfriend, Jason Robinson. But things in Juliet's life changed very quickly in June when her father announced he was leaving. 

Since that time, neither Juliet nor her mother have been doing well. Juliet scored poorly on her June SATs, taken the week after her father's big announcement. And her biggest support, Jason, is leaving for a holiday in France with his family. Jason's mother, Grace, asked Juliet if she wanted to travel with them, but Juliet cannot give up her coveted internship at Children United. Meanwhile her only sibling, her older brother, Oliver, who is staying at Yale for the summer, has gone camping for the week. And Juliet has no idea if her father intends on keeping the reservation for the house they usually rent in Maine for the summer.

At home Juliet's mother often sleeps late and drinks in the evenings. Her mother has always had lots of prescription drugs, for insomnia, for her back and even to calm her when she did presentations at charity functions. Now Juliet is concerned about all the prescription bottles on her mother's night table. On Bad Days Juliet's mother doesn't make it out of bed and Juliet finds herself taking on the role of mom. Good Days find Juliet's mom making plans to return to the workforce or planning to redecorate the house.

Sophia Taylor, Juliet's best friend, helps her study for the SATs and this leads Juliet to stay over at her friends home one night. When Juliet returns the next day, she finds her mother bloody and unconscious on the bathroom floor surrounded by pills. Juliet does not know whether her mother attempted suicide or if she accidentally overdosed.

At the hospital Juliet learns from her father that her mother has been abusing prescription drugs and mixing them with alcohol for some time. This revelation and seeing her mother in restraints make Juliet angry at her father and sad for her mother. Refusing her father's offer to return to his new home, Juliet drives to the Milltown Country Club where Sofia is working. However, in her frazzled state of mind, Juliet cuts off a van containing a family of musicians who are arriving for a gig at the country club. As a result of this accident, Juliet meets black haired, blue-eyed Declan Brennan, guitarist for the band, The Clovers, which also includes Declan's younger brother, Danny, his sister Sinead and his cousin Sean. After the concert in a moment of passion, Juliet and Declan impulsively hook-up, something Juliet regrets and feels intensely guilty about since she has been dating Jason for four years.

In the morning she meets her Aunt Kathy who has arrived from Portland Oregon. Kathy attempts to explain to Juliet her mother's situation, reiterating that she was abusing alcohol and prescription drugs not because Juliet's dad left her but because she has been unhappy for a long time. Kathy explains that her mother will have to go into a long-term facility for treatment and that she should consider moving back to Oregon with her. During her aunt's stay, life goes on for Juliet. She continues working at Children United, working on her SAT homework and seeing her SAT tutor. Juliet decides to turn down both Kathy's request to return to Oregon with her and her father's offer to live with him in New York and instead chooses to move in with her Jason's family.

Life is further complicated for Juliet when Declan shows up at Milltown High the first day of class. Attracted to him, but feeling guilty for cheating on Jason, Juliet tries to ignore Declan but Sophia, also attracted to him, draws Declan into their circle of friends. When she does finally talk to Declan she tells him what happened was a mistake.

Juliet goes to see her mother in the hospital, but the visit is upsetting because her mother is still very medicated and the woman she sees is nothing like the mother she remembers.  After the visit Juliet begins to think more deeply about her life and wonders why everything has to be "perfect".  After The Clovers have a successful gig at the Coffeehouse, they are offered the Friday night spot. Needing a new lead singer because Sinead has to travel to Boston every weekend in starting in January, Juliet is asked to join the band.

After rewriting the SAT Juliet seriously considers joining the Clovers, something Jason does not approve of. But when Juliet also suggests they not attend Harvard next year, Jason becomes concerned. Jason doesn't understand Juliet's desire not to attend Harvard because Harvard is their "future". After this Juliet decides to rehearse with the Clovers even though it will mean being around Declan. Juliet loves being in the band but her first gig with them doesn't happen after Sean and Danny are in a car accident, leaving Danny seriously injured.

As Juliet struggles to make sense of her life, Jason struggles to understand the changes in Juliet. Although Juliet continues along the path she has planned, studying to improve her Latin scores, she becomes increasingly disillusioned with her life. Her mother's return home and the changes in her mother and their relationship, as well as revelations about her parents by Oliver, lead Juliet to begin to make different choices from what she and Jason planned. Juliet's ambivalence towards Harvard continues even after she and Jason are accepted to Harvard early action. Being perfect seems to mean just doing what everyone expects of you. But is that what Juliet really wants for her life?


Discussion

Better Than Perfect focuses on the effect family expectations can have on people, particularly if those expectations do not jive with what that person wants for their life. Juliet comes from a family where everything has to be perfect. Her boyfriend, Jason's family is much the same. They have both been raised that to be the best at everything is the way to be happy. Yet Juliet has seen that in her family this has not brought happiness to her parents. "Out my back window I could see the pool. The pool guy, the gardener, the housekeeper...my house was its own little economy. All these people working so hard to make everything clean and pretty and well manicured. And with all that, my parents still hadn't been able to be happy together."

Being perfect hasn't brought Juliet the happiness she thought it would either. She has a perfect SAT and an early admission to Harvard. But she has not taken the time along the way to enjoy life. "Had I ever just gone home from school and hung out? I tried to remember, but I couldn't really remember anyone in my family just hanging out. We were all always doing something. Squash. Piano. Homework. Planning a vacation. Packing for a vacation. Unpacking from a vacation. Running errands. Making reservations. Organizing play dates. Soccer. Little League..."

Eventually Oliver reveals to Juliet that while their family was trying to be perfect, none of them were really happy. "Dad was trying to make all this money. Mom was trying to have the perfect family. I was trying to be the perfect student. You were trying to be the perfect student. But was anyone happy? Apparently not." 

Juliet comes to realize that if she continues to do what everyone expects of her she will never be happy. "There'd be graduate school and a job and a career and promotions. In a horrifying waking nightmare, I saw Jason and my parents and all my future classmates and colleagues and mentors and bosses telling me to keep doing something I hated doing because someday I would be glad I had done it." 

This leads her to tell her mother "And I know I'm disappointing you and Dad and everyone, but I feel like if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm just going to be unhappy forever."  Juliet's mother understands because this is exactly what did happen to her. Her mother's quiet acceptance of what Juliet feels empowers her to break up with Jason. Juliet's relationship with Jason mirrors her parent's relationship. Like her parents, Juliet and Jason gradually grow apart but unlike her parents this is the result of being young and maturing. Juliet recognizes that she has different goals in life and that fitting into family expectations is not as important to her as it is to Jason. Juliet recognizes this and breaks off the relationship so that she doesn't end up like her parents.


One of the strengths of this novel is its portrayal of the effects of marriage breakdown on older children. We often assume teenagers will be able to cope with separation and divorce easier than younger children, but as Kantor's portrayal of Juliet's family breakdown demonstrates, teens can feel confusion, alienation, anxiety and deep anger. They may think they understand what has happened but often they do not. What happens to Juliet's family raises some hard questions especially around blame. Juliet at first blames her father for leaving but when she comes to know more about her parent's relationship she starts to realize that it was more complicated than she was aware of. Juliet's father tells her that he and Juliet's mother simply grew apart, not a fully honest answer considering what eventually was revealed. But is growing apart a reason for divorce? Should one person get to be happy at the expense of everyone else in the family?

Among the weaknesses in Better Than Perfect are the portrayal of casual sex without any consequences and also the long term sexual relationship Juliet and Jason have, also without seemingly any emotional or physical consequences. 

Although the situations of the characters in this novel, wealthy and leading a very priviledged life are not familiar to most teens, their struggle to make their own choices and forge their own path will resonate. Most young people would love the opportunity to attend Harvard and to live in a family wealthy enough to afford cars, gardeners and pool cleaners. This makes Juliet's dissatisfaction with her life seem shallow. However, as is often the case, being wealthy does not guarantee happiness.

Overall, Better Than Perfect is well written and will appeal to those readers interested in novels about high school and relationships and coming of age.

Book Details:
Better Than Perfect by Melissa Kantor
New York: HarperTeen     2015
324 pp.