Watercress by Andrea Wang

 A young girl is driving along a country road in Ohio with her parents and her older brother. They are in the family's old red Pontiac. Suddenly her mother spots watercress in the ditch beside the talk stalks of corn. They stop and out of the car trunk, comes a brown paper bag and rusty scissors. Her parents are remembering a time in China.

The young girl and her brother are told to remove their sneakers and socks, roll up their jeans and help them gather the watercress. The water is cold and the mud squelches between her toes. As they gather bags of the small plant, the young girl hopes no one sees her in the ditch with her family. Her brother shoves some watercress, dripping muddy water and snails near her face.

At home that night, a dish of watercress is served for dinner but the young girl refuses to eat it. Her parents try to convince her to try it, but to the young girl anything different is bad.

 The young girl's mom shows her an old photo of her family, her China family. She never talks about her family. She points to her young brother, the girl's uncle and for the first time speaks about her family in China. During the great famine, they ate whatever they could find. But it was not enough, and her young brother died. Looking at the picture of her uncle who never survived and at the watercress, the young girl is ashamed of being ashamed of her family. And so, she makes a decision.

Discussion

Watercress is a story based on author, Andrea Wang's experiences as a child of Chinese immigrants growing up in a town in Ohio. In her poignant "A Note From The Author" at the back of the book, Wang writes that she "was very aware of how different my family and I were from everyone else. It's hard to feel like you don't belong, and collecting food from a muddy roadside ditch just made that bad feeling more intense for me -- something my very practical parent's didn't understand." Wang writes that her parents didn't talk about their life in China and the hardships they experienced during war. At the same time, she feels it's important for children to know their heritage.One way to learn this is through the memories parents offer. These memories, according to Wang, "...have the power to inform, to inspire, and to heal."

This simple story is full of meaning, rich with the power memories have. This is captured so beautifully by the expressive artwork of illustrator Jason Chin. The illustrations are rendered using watercolour on 140 pound cold press Saunders watercolor paper. In his "A Note From The Artist", Chin writes that he chose the medium of watercolour which is common to both Chinese and Western art. He writes that his colour palette and technique were also carefully chosen to reflect the themes in the story. In an attempt to "add another layer to Andrea's remarkable story", Chin "drew on my own memories of exclusion, loss, and guilt". He has succeeded admirably. Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of this exceptional picture book, is the ability of the illustrations to convey these exact emotions so deeply and purely.The reader experiences the shame, the anger and the guilt of the young girl as she struggles to come to terms with her identity and her heritage. Highly recommended.

Book Details:

Watercress by Andrea Wang
New York: Holiday House    2021

Goodbye Stranger by Rebecca Stead

Goodbye Stranger is a juvenile novel focusing on friendship and growing up in the post-modern world and all the unique problems that can entail.

In the Prologue readers learn that Bridget Barsamian spent all of grade three in hospital after being struck by a car. Miraculously she survived the accident and returned to school after extensive treatment.

The main story is told by Bridget who now goes by Bridge and is in seventh grade. Bridge lives with her mom who is a cellist, her father who owns a coffee shop called the Bear Bar and her older brother Jamie who is in grade ten.  Bridge's best friends are Tabitha (Tab) and Emily (Em). In fourth grade the three girls made a pact that they would never fight.

In October of seventh grade things are beginning to change between the three friends. Emily's body is changing and she begins getting texts from an eight grade boy who sends her pictures of different parts of his body. Tab is opinionated and involved in many clubs. Bridge still draws animals on her assignments like they did in fourth grade and she's wearing a set of cat ears every day.


In English class Bridget has her paper marked by Sherm Russo who sits next to her. Sherm is bit nerdy but very friendly as he tells Bridge that he doesn't believe the moon landing ever happened. At the clubs fair, when Bridge sees Sherm is part of the Tech Crew she decides to join up. Tech Crew is run by Mr. Partridge who is a very intense teacher but also very kind.

During an intruder alert drill, Bridge can't help but notice Sherm - how he sits, the colour of his eyes and his smell. They whisper back and forth about breakfast and Sherm asks Bridge to go to the Dollar-Eight Diner to get cinnamon toast after school on Friday.  Bridge agrees. After school that same day Em reveals to Bridge and Tab that she and Patrick McCormack have been exchanging pictures and she shows them a picture of his belly button that he's sent to her. She doesn't really know what to do about the picture.

On Friday, Bridge's dinner with Sherm goes well. He tells Bridge that that his grandfather left his grandmother this past summer after fifty years. Sherm also tells Bridge that he remembers when she got hit by the car and tells her that his grandfather spent the night at the hospital along with many other people who were concerned about her. Bridge in turn reveals to Sherm that a nurse told her that she didn't die for a reason. But Sherm doesn't believe that she's any luckier than anyone else.


Meanwhile Em's picture contest with Patrick goes to new levels when he sends her a picture of himself in his underwear in what appears to be a game of chicken. For Em this means she must send something equally risque back to Patrick otherwise she'll be seen as being afraid. Bridge is horrified that Em is considering even taking such a picture but Em tells her that Julie Hopper told her if she doesn't send him a picture, she will lose Patrick. Em tells Bridge that she's told Tab what she's planning but that Tab is "all judgy now".  Despite Tab's reservations, Em is desperate to have Bridge help her. Bridge reluctantly agrees and takes a picture of Bridge wearing jeans and her mother's lacy bra. Em promises Bridge she will not send the picture to anyone until she talks with Bridge again.

The next day Sherm receives a picture the next morning on his cell phone with no text. Bridge notices that strange things are happening at school, people being called to the office and Em is extremely upset. Bridge learns the reason Em is freaking out is because she did send the picture to Patrick but even worse it has somehow been sent to David Marcel, another student in the class, who has in turn passed it along to other people. When Tab finds out she is furious at Bridge for her part in helping Em take the picture. When the group of friends meet in the fourth floor washroom,  Em tells her friends that David Marcel sent the picture to other students and now everyone in the school knows what has happened . Sherm confesses that he told Mr. Ramos after the picture was sent to him because he wanted to stop the picture from being spread around further. Em is furious at Sherm and yells at him to leave.

Em tells Bridge that Patrick told her someone took his phone and sent the picture to David. Bridge finds this scenario unbelievable and she tries to convince Em that Patrick is not trustworthy and that she should not be friends with him. However, Em believes Patrick and she refuses to give him up. She admits to liking the picture and tells Bridge that she's not ashamed for looking good.

The fallout from the picture is fast and furious. Mr. Ramos has the boys erase Em's picture from their phones. Em has to tell her mother and enlists Bridge's help in doing so. Sherm is worried Bridge won't like him anymore but she tells him she was only mad that he didn't tell her about the picture and going to see Mr. Ramos. David Marcel is suspended. Em loses her spot in the Talentine show and is treated badly by some of the students. Throughout this, Bridge and Sherm grow closer, Em and Patrick stay together, and the three friends must come to terms with what happened at school.


Discussion

Goodbye Stranger is a fairly enjoyable read that deals with the issues involved in posting inappropriate personal cell phone pictures online. At its core is the theme of friendship and its ability to endure during during difficult times.

Stead realistically portrays middle school relationships and the modern problems young people face as they transition from childhood into teen years. The focus is on the dangers of social media and body image as well as how girls are treated differently than boys when problems arise. These dangers are largely unrecognized by young people because they lack the ability to see the consequences. For example, the character Em struggles to understand how a picture of herself that she feels good about, ends up creating so many problems for everyone, gets her labelled a slut and singled out for special treatment by the school. Tab mistakenly believes that posting Patrick's picture so that he can understand what Em has suffered through is a form of civil disobedience and will maybe teach him a lesson. Instead she makes things worse for everyone. Bridge and Tab both understood that Em taking this picture was wrong, yet Bridge helped Em take the picture in the name of friendship.

The theme of friendship is woven throughout the novel. Despite all that has happened, especially after Bridge helps Em with her poor choice of taking and posting the picture, after Tab posts Patrick's picture, the three friends ultimately fall back on their promise not to fight and find forgiveness for one another.An interesting contrast is shown between Em and Patrick's relationship and Bridge and Sherm's relationship. While Em and Patrick focus less on communication and more on social media, Bridge and Sherm's relationship starts out as a friendship that is grounded in communication and mutual understanding. It is the healthier one and the one that endures as shown in the epilogue.


One of the more interesting characters in Goodbye Stranger is Sherm who is struggling to come to terms with what he views as the betrayal of his grandfather to his beloved Nonna. He's not the only one struggling with this in the novel, but the reader comes to see how hurt he is that his father has left his grandmother after fifty years of marriage to be with another woman. Sherm writes his grandfather letters every day but never sends them to him, although in the end he does. In one of the letters he talks about how his father was trying to get his grandfather and Nonna to take a trip back to Italy to rediscover who he is. Sherm wants to know "Is the new you the stranger? Or is the stranger the person you leave behind?" This exchange touches on the theme of identity, especially relevant for tweens and teens who are just beginning to discover who they are. As we grow up, sometimes we are very different from the person we once were.

This is even more evident in the second person narrative of Celeste. Celeste had a good friend in Vinny because she made her feel like who she wanted to be. Or so she thought. But over time, as they grew into their teens there were aspects of Vinny's character that were cruel. Vinny's "tasting game" was one example.  At first Celeste tries to ignore Vinny's cruelty. Celeste states, "When you began to catch glimpses of something different -- like that spoonful of cinnamon, and the smile that went along with it -- you made excuses for her. That's Vinny, you told yourself." But Celeste begins to realize that the Vinny she once knew is gone. Instead of warning Gina about the tasting game, Celeste allows Vinny to hurt Gina by feeding her a spoonful of cinnamon. However, when Vinny tries to get Gina to eat her chapstick, Celeste intervenes and pays the price by being uninvited to her Halloween party. In a last ditch attempt to save this "friendship", Celeste betrays Gina's special secret. When she realizes what she's done she needs time off to figure out how to repair the harm caused. Vinny in effect has become a stranger to her and it's time to say goodbye to that friendship. Vinny is a stranger.

Stead employs several narrators including Bridge, Sherm and a mystery second person narrator. My only criticism of this novel is the use of the second person narrative. This mystery narrator that seemed to have no connection to the characters and the main storyline. The identity of the second person narrator is not revealed until the end of the novel. She refers to characters who are not part of the main story and the reader is left puzzling throughout the novel over the connection between the two narratives. It would seem the purpose of the second person narrator was to create a big reveal at the end of the novel but this easily could have been accomplished without such a device.This is not to say the narrative was not needed - just that it seemed ineffective as a device to create a reveal at the end of the novel.

An appealing aspect of this novel was the adult characters. It's rare to find a family like Bridge's where the parents are accomplished, hard working, caring and still married. This was refreshing.

Overall Goodbye Stranger was a good well written novel about middle school life, realistic in its presentation with authentic, varied characters.

Book Details:

Goodbye Stranger by Rebecca Stead
New York: Wendy Lamb Books     2015
289 pp.

Devoted by Jennifer Mathieu

In Devoted, seventeen-year-old Rachel Walker belongs to a family of ten children that includes Faith who is married to Paul, older brothers Matthew, Andrew and David, thirteen-year-old Ruth, four-year-old Sarah, twins Jeremiah and Gabriel and two-year-old Isaac. Devoted to her faith and her family, Rachel is no longer being homeschooled but instead helps her mother teach her younger siblings and maintain the household.

At Calvary Christian Church in Clayton, Texas, Rachel along with her family and the rest of the Calvary congregation watch as nineteen-year-old James Fulton asks for forgiveness. He has returned from Journey of Faith, a camp where members who have committed serious sins are sent to be "rehabilitated". 

At dinner with her family, Faith's husband, Paul, mentions Lauren Sullivan who left her family and moved to the city a few years ago. Paul states that she has been seen at the drugstore and that she lives in an apartment complex near the animal hospital. Unlike James Fulton, Lauren Sullivan did not go to Journey of Faith - she left before she could be sent there. After dinner that night, Rachel's father mentions Lauren and warns his family that they must "avoid speaking with or interacting with those who have left the flock." Rachel is mindful that she is the same age Lauren was when she left Calvary and feels this is a warning to her from her father. Later on that evening, while working on the computer for her father's business, Rachel types in "Lauren Sullivan Clayton Texas" but does not finish the search.

Rachel's mother who is pregnant suffers a miscarriage the next morning and is understandably devastated. Faith who comes to help out, tells Rachel that their mother suffered another miscarriage once before and that she was bedridden for a month due to serious depression. Their father refused psychiatric help for her. As the weeks pass by and Rachel's mother remains bedridden, the household chores and childcare fall to Rachel.

Rachel's biggest obstacle to completing her household duties is her obsession with her favourite novel, A Wrinkle in Time. Her father finds the book and questions how it came into her possession. Rachel explains that she purchased the novel while she was with her mother and that the author, Madeleine L'Engle was a Christian. Her father believes the book is ungodly and that the author is like many who pose as Christians but who do not follow the Lord. He forces her to burn the book.

Days later Rachel searches for Lauren Sullivan online but before she has a chance to read much, Ruth interrupts her. Her father brings in Faith to help her keep the house running. However Faith immediately pulls Rachel aside and admonishes her for wearing a top that shows the outline of her bra. This both humiliates and angers Rachel. Needing her mother, Rachel struggles to understand why her mother felt compelled to have another child when she already has ten "babies" who need her.

That night Rachel researches Lauren Sullivan and learns that she is working at Clayton Animal Hospital as a veterinarian technician, that she's vegan, has tattoos and that she has two cats. The following morning Rachel's mother attempts to be a part of the household by coming to breakfast in an effort to show that she's well enough for Rachel and Ruth to attend the girls fellowship about modesty. This event goes badly for Rachel when she is completely humiliated by Faith who asks her to share their discussion about her immodest dress and the vigilance required to achieve biblical femininity. Rachel begins to feel more and more confused about how she is living and what she actually believes.

Rachel's mother begins to heal when she learns that Faith and Paul are expecting a child. Faith tells Rachel that "our Lord is preparing your future husband. And He is preparing you to be his future wife and mother of his children." This only panics Rachel as she is not sure if she wants marriage and a large family for her future. That night Rachel reads Lauren's online account about her escape from Calvary. Despite the threat of a terrible punishment should she be caught, Rachel emails Lauren telling her that she cares about what has happened to her. Lauren responds quickly, warning Rachel to set up a private email, thanking her and telling her if she needs her to let her know.

Soon Rachel and Lauren are emailing one another. Lauren sends Rachel a poem by Mary Oliver which ends with the lines, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" For the first time in her life, Rachel asks herself what she wants in her life because that answer has always been given to her - to be a godly wife to my future husband and raise my children in the service of the Lord."

After Wednesday night fellowship, Rachel is surprised to find herself singled out by Pastor Garrett and her father for a special blessing. The next evening Rachel learns that her father has reset the password on the computer so that she is unable to log on. Desperate to contact Lauren, Rachel offers to take the humidifier over to Faith's home for little Caleb who is sick. However, this errand becomes the chance for Rachel to visit the Clayton Animal Hospital to meet Lauren. The following Saturday, Rachel is confronted by her parents who tell her they know she visited the Clayton Animal Hospital unchaperoned. 

Concerned about her computer usage, Rachel's father had the computer inspected and her emails to Lauren discovered. Her parents have decided to send her to the Journey of Faith camp. Pastor Garrett and his wife are prepared to drive Rachel directly to the camp. Panicked and in shock, Rachel manages to call Lauren while upstairs packing a bag. Lauren tells her she will come and get her and when she arrives, Rachel quickly slips out the door. In stepping outside of her own family and what they believe in, will Rachel discover what she believes and what she wants in life?

Discussion

Devoted is a young adult novel that explores the lifestyle of a conservative Protestant sect, known as Quiverfull, and one teenager's repudiation of her life in the group. The Quiverfull movement began in the United States and observes a number of very conservative tenets. One of its main beliefs stems from Psalm 127

 "Lo, Children are a heritage of the Lord:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hands of a mighty
So are children of the youth
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them."

Couples who are part of Quiverfull trust in the Lord to determine their family size, leading to very large families by modern standards. Often the father, who is considered the absolute head of the household, either works from home or in a family business. The women dress conservatively - pants and male clothing is shunned while girls and women wear longer dresses and tops that have a high neckline. Perhaps the best known family who adheres to the Quiverfull tenets are the Duggars of 19 And Counting Fame, although they claim not to belong to the movement.

Author Jennifer Mathieu states that she did considerable research into the Quiverfull movement prior to writing her novel. Her sources include Kathryn Joyce's Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement and Vyckie Garrison's "No Longer Quivering" blog. She also spoke with many women who have left the movement as well as those who continue to live the Quiverfull lifestyle in an attempt to portray this movement in an authentic way.

Mathieu is able to successfully weave much of the Quiverfull lifestyle into Rachel's narrative: early marriage, large families, extremely modest dress required of women so as to prevent boys and men experiencing carnal temptation, the chaperoning of young women in the community, homeschooling with a focus on women learning household duties and childcare, frequent worship and involvement in the church, and strict obedience to the father who is seen as the head of the household and who makes all decisions concerning minors. 

As a seventeen-year-old on the verge of adulthood, Rachel is approaching the time when she will be expected to live out the beliefs of the Quiverfull movement, which for her will mean marriage and a large family. But Rachel struggles to accept these beliefs and practices because they feel contradictory. It is this struggle that becomes the focus of Rachel's journey out of the Quiverfull movement.

At first Rachel feels she is a failure because she does not measure up to the ideals of femininity described by the Quiverfull movement. Mathieu sets up Rachel's older sister Faith as an example of a young woman who perfectly embodies the godly woman defined by Quiverfull. From the beginning Faith is portrayed as a perfect wife and exemplary mother. "It's early May in Texas and five hundred billion degrees, but somehow Faith isn't sweating, and her lavender blouse and knee-length denim skirt don't have a spot of baby puke on them."  Inspired by James's testimony, Faith who is described as "always been good at helping us think of others." enthusiastically suggests that they start a fellowship group "about modest dress. About helping the boys and the young men in their struggle to remain spiritually pure..."

Rachel is aware that how she feels and what she thinks is at odds with the Quiverfull definition of godly femininity. She is dismayed at her mother's pregnancy with baby eleven. Rachel has unkind thoughts about Faith's husband Paul who quotes scripture constantly, like he's a pastor.  Rachel feels guilty for reading A Wrinkle In Time because her "focus really should be on the little ones and learning how to be a wife and mother, a helpmeet with a cheerful countenance."

When her mother miscarries, Rachel's response is much different than Faith's which involves both prayer and acceptance of what has happened. Rachel recognizes "I haven't prayed for my mother or my unborn little baby brother or sister all day long, and the realization fills me with guilt...I hadn't even stopped to call out to God like Ruth did when Mom first yelled for us..." When Faith leaves, Rachel wants her to stay but doesn't say so. "Faith doesn't doubt God's will. Faith is a living embodiment of her name. Steadfast and resolute, unlike me who flounders." 

At church, Rachel notices that everyone weeps for baby Joshua but there is little concern for her mother. Her simple prayer of "Lord, let my mother be all right" seems inadequate compared to "something Faith or Pastor Garrett might say."  Rachel wants people to grieve for Joshua. "But how I wish people wouldn't smile right now....I wish my family could have a few minutes to feel sad about it, at least. Would that have been too selfish?"  Her family's focus on hiding their grief for the loss of Joshua feels fake and leaves her once again feeling inadequate. "Faith smiles, the tears she cried during the service all gone now. Her trust in the Lord must be so strong. She glides easily from correct emotion to correct emotion, where I always have the wrong ones."

When her father discovers she's been reading Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time and orders her to destroy it, Rachel silently questions his actions. "But there's another, deeper part of me that wants to jump up and cry out. To tell Dad that in the book, Mrs. Who quotes Scripture...And that Meg saves her brother because she loves him and light wins over darkness and isn't that something? Doesn't love of family count as good? As godly? And doesn't Proverbs say that the heart of the righteous studieth how to answer. Doesn't that mean that pondering, wondering, questioning is all right? That books that make us think should be allowed?" But at this point, Rachel is unable to question her father because "We must honor and obey our father at all times."

The increasing disconnect between her inner beliefs and her outward life, lead Rachel to begin questioning her beliefs, her future and to investigate the circumstances behind Lauren Sullivan's leaving her family. Rachel questions why her mother wanted to have so many children to care for day after day - a thought that fills her with anxiety and causes her to give "my forearm a firm smack to snap myself out of it." She struggles to envision her life as a married woman with many children. It will mean giving up all other choices for her life. 

When Faith announces her second pregnancy and refers to this as Rachel's future, Rachel panics and has to leave the dinner table. She prays, "Please Father God, don't find my future husband, not now. Please, Father God, don't give me so many babies I can't find a moment's peace to read or think or watch the sunset." When she returns, Rachel notes "I'm not the only one in my family good at faking."  Even the thought of her life being like her mother's or Faith's causes her intense anxiety. "My mind seizes on an image of myself pregnant, my stomach swollen tight, and my chest contracts and I try to find my breath. I think of the years stretched out before me, and know I could have a dozen children, maybe more. The thought of it, of ending up like my mother, crying alone in a bed while her other children wait for her, makes me want to scream, not sing God's praises."

Learning the circumstances surrounding Lauren's flight from Quiverfull causes Rachel to question how her community has treated Lauren. "And this Lauren with the dyed hair and the strange tattoos seems different, even frightening, but isn't the Lauren of my childhood still this Lauren? and isn't this Lauren still someone we should love? Someone who should know we haven't forgotten her?"

The loss of her computer privileges, prompts Rachel to confront her father for the first time. However, instead of listening to her, he admonishes her for questioning his authority. She wonders why God would give her a mind that is inquisitive and that questions the world around her. The loss of the computer soon leaves Rachel feeling stifled. "I miss the ease of being able to quickly look things up that aren't even related to her at all. Like why do lunar eclipses happen and how do airplanes actually work and where is Mount Everest located?"

When Rachel does visit Lauren at the vet clinic, Lauren reminds her "You can make your own choices in this life. I promise you. You really can." At this time however, Rachel does not yet believe she has the power to make her own choices. "I can't make any choices. I can't even choose what to wear or what to read. I don't have a choice in the world, and I'm not like Lauren. I can't just leave home like she did."

But when she's threatened with being sent to Journey of Faith camp, Rachel does make her first real choice - to leave home. Diane Treat who provides Rachel with her first ever job, reiterates what Lauren told her. "My life was for me just like our life is for you, and you've got to live it like you want to, and that's why God gave it to you. Now you may look like you wouldn't bite a biscuit, but I know a girl who goes after what she wants. And you're that kind of girl, I think."

Rachel proves this later on, first when she decides to enroll in the Clayton Independent School when she turns eighteen and secondly when she and Lauren disagree over religion. Diane Treat invites Rachel to attend Peace Lutheran church with her family. Lauren attempts to convince Rachel that religion brainwashes people. Rachel tells Lauren, "I'm pretty sure I can...make my own decisions about what to think about this." Rachel considers that Lauren is doing exactly what her father was doing - trying to "protect" her from life and telling her how to live her life. But Rachel proves she is strong enough to make her own decisions about her life.

Rachel's journey begins as a confused seventeen-year-old who is not allowed to make decisions about how to dress or what to read, to a young eighteen-year-old woman who makes her own decisions about jobs and her education. Unlike Lauren who has decided religion is not for her, Rachel still believes in God and still prays - but does so in her own way. That choice is hers and she doesn't allow herself to be protected or bullied. She feels God is saying to her, "What is it you plan to do, Rachel Walker, with this one life I've given you?"

One issue Mathieu takes time to deal with is that of shaming women for how they dress and how the sole responsibility for men's behaviour lies with women. In the girl's fellowship about modesty, Mrs. Garrett states, "We must remember that it is up to us to help men resist temptation,...We want our clothing to reveal a humble heart that loves the Lord and nothing more." However, Rachel finds the responsibility to protect men from lust overwhelming. "So much of a man's godly path is dependent on me and what I choose to wear, and the responsibility terrifies me sometimes."

Later on Rachel questions Lauren as to whether she feels guilt over tempting men when she wears a bathing suit. Lauren explains that men and women are naturally supposed to feel attracted to one another. That this is not a "temptation" but the way things work between men and women.
"The thing is, Rachel, that humans get attracted to each other," Lauren's voice continues as I try to pay attention to her words. "Our bodies attract each other. And girls can get attracted to guys, too...That's how it works, you know. That's why all of us are here...And the way you and I were raised, we were just handed these totally warped ideas about sex and our bodies, you know? Like girls can't feel attracted to guys and guys are just animals who can't control themselves, so we have to rein them in by wearing pillowcases on our heads, practically. It's body shame and guilt and all of that, and it pisses me off just thinking about it."

Devoted has an appealing protagonist in Rachel Walker and is a powerful expose of the Quiverfull movement. Many in the Quiverfull movement may be quick to downplay some of their beliefs. However, the movement distorts many Christian beliefs including the role of women in family and society. Strong, intelligent, resourceful, and willing to sacrifice her beloved family for the chance to live life on her own terms, makes Rachel a believable character. Young readers will identify with her struggle to forge her own identity, to discover her own beliefs about the world around her, and to define her own relationship with God.

Book Details:

Devoted by Jennifer Mathieum
New York: Roaring Brook Press     2015
328 pp.

The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord

The Start of Me and You is a story about a young girl struggling to come to terms with the death of a friend while learning to live again. At its heart is a tender story, well told of a friendship blossoming unexpectedly into a first love.

Paige Hancock lives in Oakhurst, Indiana with her mother and her younger sister, Cameron. A year earlier, Paige's first ever boyfriend, Aaron Rosenthal, whom she dated for a grand total of two months, died in a swimming accident. Paige has spent the last year attempting to come to terms with his death. In her school where everyone is defined by something, she is known as "the Girl Whose Boyfriend Died".

Paige encounters Ryan Chase, a boy she has had a crush on since forever, in Alcott's Books and Beans. She realizes that he understands what she's been going through because his sister was sick with cancer. They discover they share a class in Honors English.

Paige has just finished her therapy and she now has to cope on her own. With summer holidays coming to an end, she decides to plan out a great year, hoping that she can fake her way "through every step until things were truly good again." Her best friend Tessa McMahon suggests that Paige try to rejoin some of the groups she was a part of in freshman year. After talking with her Grammy who is suffering from short term memory loss, Paige is inspired to draw up a list that includes 1. Parties/social events, 2.New group, 3.Date, 4. Travel and 5. Swim. The last item on the list, Paige is certain she never wants to do again.

Paige's junior year starts with her learning from her friend Morgan Sullivan that Ryan broke up with girlfriend Leanne Woods over the summer. In Honors English, Ryan is there with his cousin, Max Watson who had been attending a private school, Coventry School. The new teacher, Ms. Pepper seats Ryan just behind Paige, making her very happy to be so near her crush. However, the seating arrangement doesn't last long, before Ms. Pepper has Max switch seats with Ryan who has spent too much time talking with his buddy, Tyler. Ms. Pepper informs the class that they need one more person for the Oakhurst Quizbowl team. Paige decides to join the team, believing it will help her move forward and is surprised to learn that Max is the team captain.

Meanwhile Paige is stunned to learn from her parents who are divorced, that they are dating - each other. This makes her very uncomfortable but her sister Cameron is more accepting. Her parents have been divorced for over five years and Paige is shocked that they have been dating for the past four months. It was Aaron's death that brought them together again. 

At Maggie Brennan's party, Paige learns that Tessa now has lunch with Ryan, making her just a bit jealous. But Tessa isn't interested at all in Ryan. Paige encounters Max sitting in a room at the party by himself reading and later by Ryan's car as she is leaving. Paige decides to stay and talk with Max, in the hopes of meeting Ryan. The night ends with Paige altering her list of things to do, scratching out attending parties and amending number three to specifically dating Ryan Chase.

In English class, Paige and Max are paired together for an exercise, leading them to learn a few details about each other. When Paige tells Max that she has the middle name of Elizabeth for the character in Pride and Prejudice, Max tells her that he thinks she's more a Jane Bennet who doesn't judge people, who is under-appreciated and quiet and kind. He nicknames her "Janie".  Max invites Paige to his house to meet the QuizBowl team and prepare for their first match. Paige meets his mom, who is a pediatrician,  and also meets QuizBowl team members, Malcolm and Lauren. When Max drives her home, Paige tells him about her family and her parents dating. Max listens patiently and then encourages Paige to look at what is happening from a different perspective.

At this point, Paige continues to be focused on Ryan and how she can spend time with him. When Max tells her about Ryan's break-up with Leanne and how he disliked her, Paige feels validated because she obviously doesn't like Leanne either. She feels that being friends with Max gives her a better chance of getting to know her crush, Ryan.

The first Quizbowl match is terrifying for Paige but she makes her way through it with Max's calm reassurances. Paige's life continues to intertwine with Max's. She and Max walk together on their way to lunch and to math class. At the movie theatre, when Tessa and the group decide to stay for a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Paige must leave to meet her mother's curfew, Max offers to drive her home. It is Max who drives Paige to the hospital when she learns that her Grammy has suffered a stroke, He tells Tessa what happened so she can be there for her.

Things become complicated when Ryan drives Paige to a get-together at Alcott's and they kiss in his jeep, leaving Paige wondering just what the kiss means. During the winter he asks her to hang with him, while Max and Tessa go to see a band. During their time together, Paige helps Ryan plan a surprise party for Max and learns that he's still not over his ex-girlfriend Leanne. It takes a silly game at Max's birthday party, where Max and Paige spend seven minutes locked in a closet, for Paige to realize that she has feelings for Max. And those feelings have seriously thrown her plan for recovering her life into chaos.

Discussion

The Start of Me and You is one the best young adult novels of 2015, with its positive portrayal of teen friendships, caring teen characters who grow through the story, and light romance. At the center is a strong female character, and excellent cast of supporting characters

Paige Hancock is a strong female character, demonstrating courage and fortitude. Having spent a year grieving over the loss of her friend Aaron, she decides to take control of her life,doing things that will challenge her. This leads her to join the Quizbowl club, where she comes to know Max Watson. But Paige isn`t focused on Max, she`s focused on attracting Ryan Chase who is her longtime crush. Paige uses his cousin Max in the hopes of gaining opportunities to be with Ryan and maybe become his girlfriend. However, Paige realizes several things; that Ryan is not quite over Leanne and that he is interested in her best friend Tessa. And while she`s been focusing on Ryan, she hasn`t recognized the reality of her relationship with Max. "Ryan was more an idea in my mind, and Max was a person -- my person. Sure, I daydreamed about Ryan,imagined being his girlfriend and what that would be like. But it was Max who remembered everything I ever told him, Max who looked perpetually delighted when I made him laugh...When had I learned him so completely?...It all played like a montage in my mind; Max by my side all these months...How had not seen him?"

Paige begins to realize that she's changed and that has affected her relationships. "Maybe my feelings for Max had been there the whole time, obscured by the rubble of the Ryan Chase crush I'd somehow outgrown. I'd been focusing on rebuilding the debris of my former life when instead I should have been clearing myself a path out. And that path led straight to Max." All this leads Paige to edit her list once again, crossing out Ryan and simply set the goal of dating. She'd liked Ryan in very superficial way that an eighth grader would, but Paige is no longer in eighth grade. Max is real and present in a way Ryan is not.

Max is a brilliant character, kind, intuitive and resilient. He also challenges Paige, recognizing that she's always preparing for something that is most likely to happen instead of working towards something she wants to happen. Max tries to get Paige to confront her fear of swimming but she's resistant and angry at him for trying to fix her. When Paige learns that Max has probably seen her list which has the intention to date Ryan Chase, she finally accepts that at first she used Max as a way to try to be with Ryan. While Max is initially deeply hurt by what Paige has done, his love for her allows him to forgive her. 
 
One of the more delightful characters in The Start of Me and You is Paige's grandmother whom she affectionately calls Grammy. Paige frequently visits her Grammy and is patient and kind towards her. often telling her about her life. Likewise Grammy is sensitive and able to recognize when her granddaughter is troubled. Despite having Alzheimer's and even after having a serious stroke, Grammy is able to impart her wisdom that comes from a long life. For example, when Paige tells her about her parents dating, Grammy tells her that her parents were very happy when they were first married, something Paige would not necessarily know. Grammy tells her "Things change. There are so many outside forces coming at marriage; finances and jobs and houses and children. You can lose each other if you're not careful. It doesn't mean it was all a wash." Just before her death, Grammy advises Paige to "love extra, even if it means you hurt extra, too." Grammy wisely tells her to "Just live your life."

One of the strongest themes in The Start of Me and You is that of positive female friendships. Paige, Tessa, Morgan and Kayleigh all help each other when they experience tough moments. When Tessa's parents miss their dinner date for her seventeenth birthday because they are stuck in China, Paige organizes a dessert buffet at Tessa's home.  When Morgan and Kayleigh have a falling out over Kayleigh's focus on her boyfriend Eric, Paige is able to smooth over the disagreement.  When Paige's grandmother has a stroke, Tessa leaves the Rocky Horror Show and comes to the hospital to provide emotional support for Paige and drives her home. Paige rescues Kayleigh when she is stranded after a party is raided by the cops. Reflecting on friendship, Paige believes that friends do favours without expecting anything in return. "In friendship, we are all debtors. We all owe each other for a thousand small kindnesses, for little moments of grace in the chaos...Because with true friends, no one is keeping score. But it still feels good to repay them --even in the tiniest increments." It is this portrayal of strong female friendships that is so refreshing and so unusual in young adult literature. There are no mean girls in this novel.

The Start of Me and You also portrays parents in a positive and realistic way. Paige's parents have been divorced for five years but are now attempting to reconcile. Paige's father admits that the divorce was mostly his fault and that he's been going to therapy so that he won't make the same mistakes. He doesn't know if they will remarry, but "Nothing is more important to me than doing right by you and your mom." He's forthright and responsible. Both parents are portrayed as caring and involved in their children's lives. When Paige and Max's relationship collapses after the pool incident, Paige's mother takes the time to talk the her about what happened and to counsel her. Paige recognizes her mother's efforts. "...I felt grateful for my mom in a way that I never had before. She made an honest effort to hear me and to understand where I was coming from. " 

Lord uses foreshadowing in an interesting way. The Start of Me and You uses a familiar trope of a girl out to capture the cute high school athlete but who falls in love with the sensitive, nerdy geek. In a way it's fairly predictable but the author has a message for her readers and she uses Max to deliver it.  Paige tells Max she's upset about her parents dating because she knows how it will end. When Max is helping Paige to reconsider her parents dating, he uses the example of people rereading books in which they know the ending.  "In books, sometimes the foreshadowing is so obvious that you know what's going to happen. But knowing what happens isn't the same as know how it happens. Getting there is the best part."  And that is exactly the case with The Start of Me and You. All the characters in the book realize that Paige loves Max. Even Max knows she loves him. The reader too, begins to suspect early on that Paige is going to fall for Max. However Paige does not realize she loves Max until the very end. It's how she gets to that point that makes this novel so enjoyable. And along the way she too comes to realize that "Knowing what happens is different from knowing how it happens."

The Start of Me and You is a great summer read, but also a wonderful story about the power of friendship and the determination to move forward in life. The positive portrayals of female friendship, two parents attempting to recover their marriage, and relationships between the sexes make this an excellent novel. 

Book Details:

The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord
New York: Bloomsbury Children's Books    2015
373 pp.

The Secret Sky. A Novel of Forbidden Love in Afghanistan by Atia Abawi

The Secret Sky is a story about forbidden love in an country where a family's honour is based on the sexual purity of its women. To break that code even in the most minor of ways,  is to bring unending shame upon the family who can only restore its honour through blood - the blood of the woman who caused the dishonour. The author, Atia Abawi was an unborn baby when she left Afghanistan as her parents and older sibling fled the Soviet occupation. Although her parents often spoke of returning to their beloved homeland, the rise of the Taliban and the subsequent war with America made such a return impossible. Atia however did travel to Afghanistan in 2008 where she lived for five years as a foreign correspondent. Abawi writes "In the more than four years I lived in Afghanistan, I experienced life in the most spectacular ways -- and death in the most horrific. I learned quickly that Afghanistan is a land of contradictions. It hold unimaginable beauty and inconceivable ugliness." Abawi states that she has tried to illustrate real-life experiences as accurately as possible in the hopes that her readers "will get a small glimpse into a beautiful and tragic world unseen by many." Her novel, although fiction, is influenced by real events and real people. Which makes it all the more tragic and touching.

The title of this tragic novel is a reference to a line from one of the great Persian poet, Jalal ad-Din Rumi's poems which Abawi features opposite her Introduction. This is love: To fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.

The novel is divided into three parts. Part One is narrated by Fatima who lives with her father, Mohammad, her mother Mossuma, her three year old sister, Afifa and her younger brothers in a small village. Her older brother, Ali, was sent to work in Iran but was killed on the journey there. Fatima is on the cusp of womanhood, still a child but her body is changing into that of a young woman. As a result there are certain cultural restrictions on where she goes and who she is seen with. The girls her age are no longer allowed to leave their homes. Fatima remembers a time when all the children, both Pashtun and Hazara, played together.  Zohra tells Fatima that she's learned that Fatima's close childhood friend, Samiullah, who is a Pashtun, has returned home from the madrassa. No sooner than they have finished pulling water from the well, the two girls meet Samiullah on their way home. His piercing green eyes seem warm  and comforting to Fatima who cannot help but notice how tall and handsome he has grown in the past three years.

Fatima often goes to see her best friend, Zohra, whose grandmother is teaching her how to write and read. Her grandmother and her mother before her were educated in a time when Afghanistan was becoming a modern state. The following morning on her way to Zohra's home, Fatima encounters Samiullah in the woods. Although she knows she shouldn't be alone with him, Fatima agrees to meet him the next day. At Zohra's the two girls talk about marriage and Fatima mentions to her friend that she wants something more than marriage, telling her about the university in Kabul where women attend. Zohra tells a shocked Fatima that her parents are considering marrying her to a wealthy boy in another village.

The next day Fatima lies to her mother and meets Samiullah in the woods. They play hide and seek and sit near the stream talking. When Samiullah hears motorcycles the couple hide quietly behind a rock. At home Fatima overhears her madar begin to push her father to consider arranging a marriage for their eldest daughter, a prospect that upsets Fatima. Fatima and Samiullah meet again but the lies and the risk she is taking begin to worry Fatima. "...what worries me more is that it will ruin my family's name and honor to have their eldest daughter running around the village unsupervised. Not just unsupervised -- alone with a boy....I can't do this. It's far too risky." However, she does meet Samiullah and they spend some time together talking about Sami's time at the madrassa. Their meeting abruptly ends when their hear branches crackling.

Part Two is narrated by Rashid who is filled with anger and hate, yet who believes he is doing the work of God. Rashid is Samiullah's cousin - his father's younger sister Gul Bibi is Sami and his younger sister Nur's mother. Rashid's father along with the rest of his family was murdered and Gul Bibi took him into their family. Both Rashid and Sami were sent to the madrassa, like their father's before them to learn more about Islam and the Holy Quran. But while Samiullah hated it, Rashid seemed to have found his calling.

It is Rashid who has seen Samiullah and Fatima together in the woods, an act he considers sinful and blasphemous. He is determined to punish both but decides to wait. It is obvious that Rashid is poisoned by a hatred of his cousin. "...I see my uncle and my cousin the infidel lagging behind him. Sinner! He's so smug, trying to act sweet as he picks up the little kids, who are giggling like goats.....He lies to everyone and acts as though he is a man of virtue...."

Rashid has been sent by the instructors from the madrassa to help Mullah Latif and his men, who are considered thugs by the local villagers. They are known to extort food from the nearby villagers in return for protection. His time at the madrassa has taught him to look down on the people of his village who he considers as lacking in "any concept of good and bad, God and the devil." Rashid knows his uncle, Samiullah's father hates Mullah Latif, considering  him a thief.

The next morning Rashid accompanies Sami into town to open the family store. Many of the stores are now closed and Sami tells Rashid that this is because of the Taliban. This angers Rashid who begins to question Samiullah about Fatima's family suggesting that because they are Hazara they are cheats. Samiullah outright rejects Rashid's assertions saying they must not judge people based on the actions of their ancestors. Learning that Rashid is teaching the Quran to younger students. Sami encourages Rashid to teach the true Quran to the children. This enrages Rashid who openly accuses Samiullah of running "around with that peasant whore in the woods" - a reference to Fatima. Horrified at what Rashid has said and his hateful attitude towards Fatima and her family, Samiullah prays to God asking him to protect Fatima, guide him and protect Rashid from his own hatred.

Desperately in need of guidance, Samiullah decides to visit Mullah Sarwar in a nearby village to seek advice. Mullah Sarwar helped Sami make the decision to return home from the madrassa.  Sarwar tells Samiullah that God has bestowed a great gift, that of love, upon him but that marrying Fatima will mean overcoming many obstacles.

When Samiullah returns to his home he finds Fatima's father, Mohammad, Zohra's father, Karim, and Rashid with his father, Ismail. Rashid accuses him in front of the other men of "disrespecting" Mohammad's family, Mohammad's daughter and his own family. After Rashid leaves, Sami attempts unsuccessfully to explain to Karim and his father about his relationship with Fatima. Sami asks Mohammad for permission to marry his daughter, but both men refuse. Ismail tells Samiullah that he will not sanction such a marriage as Fatima is a farmer and as such beneath marrying him.

Part Three picks up Fatima's narrative but also now includes narratives by both Rashid and Samiullah as the crisis within their families reaches a climax. It begins with Fatima being sent home from Zohra's home by Karim who then angrily confronts Zohra asking her if she knew what was going on between Sami and Fatima.

After two days of being ignored, Fatima's father tells her that Samiullah has requested her in marriage. He tells Fatima that she cannot marry him and her mother tells her she is whore, slapping her and reminding Fatima that she is lucky they are not going to kill her. He announces that she will marry her friend Zorha's father, Karim and be his second wife. Fatima is horrified and distraught begging her father to reconsider Samiullah's proposal. The next day Fatima is attacked by her mother who drags her to the kitchen by her hair, kicks her in the stomach and then pours boiling water over her arms. She tells Fatima she is a whore who has disgraced their family and warns her that if she tells her father she will burn her face.

Fatima receives Sami's letter and does go to the well to get water, although she is in agony. Sami meets her and discovers her terrible injuries. He tells her that this is further proof that they must flee to Kabul because the people who support this sort of thing will not stop until they are both dead.
"There are people more dangerous than your mother who will want to punish us. Those are the ones I am afraid of. You are in the most danger."

That night Fatima comes to the decision that she must leave her home and her village. She knows her father will never look at her again, her mother will not forgive her and will likely turn all her siblings against her. Feeling responsible for what has happened she decides to meet Samiullah and together they flee to Mullah Sarwar's masjid. Can they possibly escape the terror that now hunts them, seeking their death to restore honour to their families and their village?

Discussion

The Secret Sky is not a novel for the faint at heart; there is murder, beatings and torture as well as references to the sexual abuse of young boys. It's not overly graphic but, if as Abawi states that she has based her novel on real people and real events, it makes the story all the more tragic. It is a brilliant effort that paints a realistic picture of a culture caught in the throes of a radical shift in thinking complicated by cultural practices around honour and old prejudices between two ethnic groups Hazara and Pashtun. The Hazara are an ethnic group in the central highland region of Hazarajat in Afghanistan. They have been persecuted by the Pashtun who feel they should be labourers and servants.

The Secret Sky outlines in a general way how the Taliban came to gradually overrun Afghanistan. Young people were sent into Pakistan to the madrassas to learn about Islam but in fact were indoctrinated into a radical form of the religion which encouraged people to fight against foreigners and to help create an Islamic state based on strict Islamic laws. According to such laws, men and women who are unrelated cannot be together. Such contact, even though not physical is considered to sully a woman's reputation. These young people returned to their villages bringing with them this radical form of Islam which was then gradually forced onto the local rural villages. It was compounded by cultural practices surrounded a distorted view of family honour which holds that women can be tainted by even the slightest contact with an unrelated male. Whereas before families may have handled these problems and perhaps married off the couple, the radical Islamic teaching now insisted that they were to be punished with death. Also many of these young men returning from the madrassa's in Pakistan set up a sort of Afghan mafia and went around demanding protection money from farmers, villagers and store keepers.

It is difficult to comprehend Mossuma's attitude towards her daughter when she finds out she has been seen with Samiullah because the concept of family honour is so alien to Western culture. Neither family questions either Fatima nor Samiullah as to what exactly happened in the woods and it is assumed that the couple met to have sex. Mossuma has a very mercenary view of her children, seeing them as a means to gain either wealth or status. She sent Ali to Iran to earn money for her against the wishes of her husband. She then tries to marry off Fatima when she hears of Zohra's impending engagement, in the hopes of making a match with a wealthy family, but Mohammad will have none of it. So when Mossuma learns of Fatima's "indiscretion" she knows she has lost another opportunity to gain status. Fatima recognizes this. "Her children aren't people to her. We are her accessories, like a new payron or bangle. She wanted me to marry the boy in the other village because it would have made her look good, not because she was looking out for my welfare. She sent Ali to Iran to make money for her, not so he could build a better life for himself."

Not only does Abawi have a powerful storyline, she creates strong, realistic characters. Fatima is a sweet innocent girl who is not ready yet to leave the carefree ways of childhood behind. She dislikes the changes in her body because they signal her transformation to womanhood and a different code of behaviour that will see her leave behind her best friend and playmate, Samiullah, forever. Despite knowing this code and the repercussions if she disobeys it, Fatima decides to take a risk for the sake of friendship. It is a risk that will cost her and her family dearly.

Samiullah is an honourable young man who unthinkingly puts Fatima at risk of being stoned. His love for her sees him take every risk to protect her and get her to safety.

Fatima's father, Mohammad is a kind, hard-working man who protects his children but still places importance in the distorted idea of honour to some degree. When Mossuma wants to marry off Fatima, Mohammad outright rejects her suggestion saying, " I said enough! No more! I'm not marrying my daughter off to strangers. How do we know how these people will treat her?...I can't trade her to someone in another village for a little bit of money; just because it is in our culture doesn't make it okay...She isn't a sack of wheat. I can't just sell her for a few Afghanis and breathe easily for the rest of my life..."  Mossuma's argument that the boy is from a wealthy Hazara family does nothing to appease Mohammad who tells her there are no innocent groups in Afghanistan, that many including himself have been involved in the killing of innocent women and children. Mohammad defends Fatima even when he learns of her "indiscretion", telling Mossuma he will not beat his daughter. However, bound by his culture, he does agree to marry her off as a second wife.

Mullah Sarwar and Rashid represent two different versions of Islam that are competing for the minds and hearts of people in Afghanistan and throughout the Middle East, Asia and Africa. Mullah Sarwar, is a gentle, intelligent and courageous mullah who is careful to not to judge and seeks to discern. He tells Sami and Fatima,  "Don't listen to what people may have told you growing up...Our culture and tradition is not our religion. As a Muslim woman, you have the right not to be forced into marriage...." He helps Sami and Fatima, first marrying them and then hiding them.

Rashid is the strongest character in the novel and this is reflected in his narratives which reflect his pride and anger. When Rashid returns to his village from the madrassa he looks down on the people as being ignorant in many ways. Filled with pride, he describes himself as "I was the best; I still am." He is insulted that his uncle's family, who took him in after the murder of his family, hasn't  slaughtered a goat upon his return.  After he sees Samiullah with Fatima he views himself as the person to ensure that he is punished. He refers to Sami repeatedly throughout the story in derogatory terms such as "my cousin the infidel", "He's a pathetic fool and a dropout. A failure!"  and a "little ant".  His bitterness and anger at the murder of his family continue to haunt him and it is Mullah Sarwar who recognizes this telling Rashid that his family has given him enough love to survive but that if he takes that love out of his heart, he may "fall into a dangerous insanity that you may not be able to come out of."  Rashid is driven by the need to show his family that he is the "good one" but Mullah Sarwar tells him that he will only succeed in creating yet another tragic story. He tells Rashid that his rage is not because of Sami and Fatima but something he is holding inside himself and that he must fix before he causes even more harm. Eventually, Rashid overwhelmed by the deaths he has already causes, comes to realize the truth of what the Mullah has told him and by the end of the novel he redeems himself by an act of sacrificial love.

Overall, The Secret Sky is a remarkable novel which touches on cultural expectations regarding women in Islamic countries, honour killings, forgiveness, sacrifice and love. The Secret Sky is a love story set amid the turbulent struggle against radical Islam in Afghanistan. It is tragic, unsettling but hopeful.


Book Details:
The Secret Sky by Atia Abawi
New York: Philomel Books      2014
290 pp.

On The Fence by Kasie West

On The Fence is a poignant coming-of-age story about a girl growing into womanhood  who struggles to remember the mother she misses and to unravel her deepening feelings for the boy next door.

Charlotte (Charlie)Reynolds is sixteen years old and lives with her policeman father and her three brothers, Jerom, Nathan and Gage. Her neighbour, Braden Lewis is almost always at her home so he too is like a fourth brother to Charlie. Charlie is tomboy, keen about sports and involved in running, soccer and basketball and roughhousing with her brothers. Her mother died when she was six and Charlie has few precious memories of her. Now a teenager, Charlie finds she misses having a mother around to guide her through the ins and outs of dating, boys and makeup.

When Charlie acquires a second speeding ticket, her dad insists she get a job to pay him back for the tickets and as insurance against any future tickets. Charlie doesn't want to work, but with the help of her brother Gage, she manages to get hired on by Linda who owns a clothing store, Linda's Bazaar. Linda is an earthy woman whose motherly concern for Charlie manifests itself in helping Charlie purchase suitable clothing for working in the boutique. Charlie has to wear something other than her typical t-shirt, jeans and beat up sneakers.

Lately the nightmares about her mother have returned and when she can't sleep, Charlie decides to go sit out in the backyard by the fence. For the past four years, Charlie has found that running before bed made her tired enough to sleep through the night, helping to avoid the recurring nightmares. But lately running hasn't worked. One night in her backyard she witnesses Braden's father coming home drunk, yelling at Braden and his mom. Upset at what she's witnessed, Charlie talks to Braden through their shared fence. Soon they find themselves meeting frequently in the middle of the night, Charlie on her side of the fence, Braden on his side. They talk about Braden's family problems and Charlie's life. Charlie challenges Braden to a game to see who knows more about the other.

Meanwhile Charlie begins to enjoy her job at Linda's. She finds Linda to be a kind manager who encourages her. However, when Linda makes a general remark about Charlie's mother, instead of telling Linda that her mother died, Charlie acts as though her mother is still alive. This little lie unsettles Charlie, but she's tired of being pitied when people ask. When a girl drops off ads for make up demos at the store, Linda suggests that Charlie sign up to be a makeup model. Charlie agrees to do this, forging her dead mother's signature on the permission paper. Unable to sleep after doing this, Charlie meets Braden at the fence in the middle of the night confessing her guilt over what she's done in a sort of general way.

The make up demo goes well, with Amber doing basic makeup of Charlie's face. Amber's friendly and chatty, which makes the session pass easily. Charlie who was dreading the session because she is completely out of her league when it comes to girly things, finds it not quite so bad. When she discovers how much money she can make from just one session Charlie agrees to do a second one.

Gradually Charlie begins to realize that she's falling in love with Braden, but he doesn't seem to reciprocate her feelings. Charlie can't stop the way she feels but she knows she has to. "I needed to stop the way my body was reacting to Braden lately. We were friends. Too close to ever want to explore these stupid new reactions and risk losing him forever."

Charlie meets a new guy, Evan, when she's out with Amber and her friends after the second make-up session. When Evan, who in Charlie's eyes is "hot and nice" learns she is heavily involved in sports, he invites her to come with him to see an Oakland Athletics baseball game. It's supposed to be a double date but Charlie knows she can't invite Braden because Amber and her new guy, Dustin will likely come with them.

Things between Charlie and Braden become strained when one night Charlie thinks he's going to tell her that he has feelings for her but instead Braden tells her that he wanted to talk about something very different. Embarrassed and humiliated Charlie leaves. "Of course, Braden didn't like me like that. I was his buddy, his pal, his sister. A burly girl who played sports. The only way a guy would ever like me was with a thick layer of makeup."

This seems to make things easier for Charlie to date Evan because she assumes that Braden simply views her as one of the guys and not a girl who could be a potential girlfriend/date. But when Braden fills in for Amber's date who falls ill, his behaviour seems to suggest that he is jealous. Evan doesn't know Charlie very well but assumes she is like other girls, clueless about sports, especially baseball and into nice clothes and makeup. Braden tells Charlie that he's not the right person for her since she can't be herself around him. Charlie knows she's faking it but maybe this is what she has to do to get a guy interested. These mixed feelings make it hard for Charlie to cope with having Braden around and she wonders how do you stay friends with someone you've fallen for?

Discussion  

On The Fence is a sweet story that touches on the themes of identity, honesty and first love, all of which are interconnected. Charlie has always been seen as "one of the guys" but she begins to wonder if that means guys aren't attracted to her. Does she have to change who she is to get a date and should she? She becomes aware of this when she goes to Woodward Park to play disc golf with her brothers and they find a girl's lost Frisbee with her contact information on it. While her older brother Jerom thinks it's "hot" that a girl plays disc golf, Gage says, " 'I don't know. A girl who plays disc golf? She's probably a dog. Some aggressive, burly thing.' The guys laughed...Maybe that's how they saw me. Maybe that's how most guys saw me."

Later on as Charlie begins dating Evan she feels that she must be a different kind of girl than who she is - one who wears makeup and different clothing, who doesn't know about baseball and definitely someone who doesn't play tackle football with the guys. When Braden sees Charlie behaving differently around Evan he tells her "If you can't be yourself around him, then you shouldn't be dating him." But Charlie challenges Braden, asking him how many of the guys they know have raced to ask her out. "If they want someone to date, they go to the mall or the club and find a girl who wears tight clothes and does her nails and giggles at their jokes.... Guys don't want a competitor, they want a cheerleader." Seeing Charlie sitting out a tackle football game, Braden again reminds her, "You don't have to change for a guy," telling her that by compromising, she isn't showing Evan the real Charlie.

Charlie's dishonesty with Evan is mirrored in her other relationships with Linda whom she lied to about her mother. Charlie's struggle to find her own identity and to accept it comes to a head when her lies to Linda are revealed, causing Linda disappointment and hurt and bringing down the wrath of her father.  Charlie feels guilt because she knows Linda understands her and is able to help her understand herself and she recognizes she needs someone like this in her life as the men around her cannot provide this much needed insight. Charlie reveals to her father why she lied about her mother's death and asks  him to explain what happened to her mother. She learns that her father and brothers were trying to protect her from the truth of her mother's death, but in doing so they prevented Charlie from coming to terms with her death and healing.

By the end of the novel, Charlie comes to a sort of self-acceptance which allows her to tell both Evan and Braden the truth. She also accepts that her athleticism is a good thing but that she also might want to be open to stepping out of her comfort zone and using a bit of makeup for special occasions. Things like makeup and nice dresses don't make her anything less than who she is. They don't take away her identity.

Charlie is a believable character, and West does a great job filling in her character as the story progresses. Like many sixteen-year-old girls, she's just figuring herself out, what her strengths are, how to navigate the world of boys and relationships, how to deal with uncomfortable conversations and coming to terms with a family tragedy that happened ten years earlier. She is also realistic in that many girls drop out of sports in their teen years because they believe this makes them unattractive to boys. Fortunately, this view is beginning to change. 

On The Fence is a gentle romance and coming of age story that will appeal to many readers. Kasie West has placed another great read on the bookshelf.

Book Details:
On The Fence by Kasie West
New York: HarperCollins Children's Books    2014
293 pp.

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

"I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard."

If I Stay is about a young girl's difficult decision to either live or die after a catastrophic family tragedy. The novel is narrated by seventeen year old Mia Hall who, in an out of body experience, lies between life and death over a period of twenty four hours. Interspersed with the events happening in the present, is Mia's life story told in flashback form. As time passes, as indicated by the time stamps, Mia draws closer and closer to her critical decision.

Seventeen year old Mia and her family are enjoying a snow day in early February in Oregon. When the storm finishes suddenly, they decide to take a trip to visit her parents' old friends, Henry and Willow and their baby girl. They never make it. Their Buick is struck by a four-ton pickup truck and totally demolished.

When Mia "awakes" she is able to survey the accident scene and she sees her father lying dead on the road, her mother looking white as a ghoul. When Mia is unable to locate her younger brother, Teddy, she goes in search of him. But what she finds is her own body lying badly injured in a ditch near their completely destroyed vehicle. Not in her body but near it, Mia watches as emergency and police arrive on the crash scene and work to stabilize her so they can transport her to hospital. She is rushed by air ambulance to a trauma center where doctors work to save her. Mia watches from outside her body as all this happens. While she is out of her body she thinks back on her life, remembering various milestones and special moments which are told in flashback.

Mia began playing cello at age eight and had her first recital when she was ten. She was so nervous for the recital that she almost didn't perform, but her father encouraged her, explaining that everyone experiences this and has to learn to work through the nerves. When she was in grade nine her father found Mia a professional teacher, Professor Christie, who is a retired professor from the nearby university. Her teacher and others felt Mia was exceptional and that she should audition for Julliard in New York.

Mia's musical talent comes naturally as her father had a rock band for years. But when a second baby came along, her father decided to leave his band and become a teacher, much to the chagrin of his band mates and his best friend, Henry. But Mia's father simply tells Henry that some day he will understand.

Mia has a boyfriend, eighteen year old Adam Wilde who is the lead guitarist and singer in his emo-rock band, Shooting Star. The two met when Adam was in his junior year and Mia was a sophomore. He had been watching her practice in the music room and one day announced to Mia that he had tickets to a Yo Yo Ma concert at Arlene Schnitzer Hall in Portland. After the concert, the two gradually grow closer together, having their difficult moments but eventually falling in love.But as they get older and Adam moves on from high school to a nearby college, there relationship continues because of their mutual love of music. Ironically, music which brought them together, might now be the one thing that pushes them apart as they move into adulthood.

Mia's successful audition at Julliard is certain to lead to an offer of admission and with it the necessary move to New York and away from Adam. Auditioning at Julliard was her dad's mother, Gran's, idea. Mia prepared an audition tape, got her letters of reference together and sent in a recording. She was then invited to audition for a spot at the school and ended up going with her Gramps to San Francisco where the auditions were held. Mia played five pieces for her audition; a Shostakovich concerto, two Bach suites, all Tchaikovsky's Pezzo capriccioso and a movement from Ennio Morricone's The Mission. She was passionate and in the moment and her playing demonstrated this.

But despite this love of music, Mia is conflicted over the possibility of going to New York and what that will mean for her and Adam. Adam feels the same way as his band often has gigs in other cities, meaning he is often away from Mia on weekends. It becomes increasingly difficult to co-ordinate their lives.

Meanwhile in the present, Mia learns she has been badly injured; a collapsed lung, ruptured spleen, unknown internal bleeding and contusions on her brain. Her father's parents, Gran and Gramps are in the waiting room while she has surgery. After they see her, Gramps asks Gran about whether or not Mia can make a choice about living or not. It is at this point that Mia realizes whether she lives or dies is up to her.

"...He had listened to that nurse, too. He got it before I did.
If I stay. If I live. It's up to me.
All this business about medically induced comas is just doctor talk. It's not up to the doctors. It's not up to the absentee angels. It's not even up to God who, if He exists, is nowhere around right now. It's up to me."

Adam doesn't arrive until 7:13pm in the evening but when he tries to see Mia he is told only family is allowed in to see Mia. Devastated, Adam enlists the help of Mia's best friend Kim and later on some of his band members in what turns out to be a futile attempt. But when Willow shows up at the hospital she manages to get Adam in to see Mia. As expected, Adam is devastated when he sees Mia.

Both Gramps and Mia's best friend ,Kim Schein, give Mia permission to die if that is what she wants. But Adam decides he wants to give Mia a reason to live. Will it be enough?

Discussion

If I Stay is realistic fiction that effectively captures the horror and grief that permeates those left behind after a terrible tragedy and the difficult decision to carry on afterwards. Forman has crafted a novel that explores what it might be like to be lying in a state near death, aware of terrible loss and possibly wondering whether dying is the better choice over living. Mia in her in between state, knows her entire family is dead, her life changed forever. What if she has the choice to live or die? Can she find the courage to live?

Forman makes excellent use of flashbacks to give her readers some sense of Mia's family, her passion for music and to build the relationship between Adam and Mia thus setting the stage for her big decision. Both Adam and Mia are wonderfully realistic characters, opposites who attract. Adam is the emo-rocker whose loud music and mosh pits contrast with the refined world of Mia's classical music. They have a friendship and a common interest in music that leads gradually to a deeper relationship and finally to love.

Passion for music plays a central part of this novel as all the characters are in some way, invested in music and have a passion for music. Forman's portrayal of the classical music world, especially that of a young aspiring musician is accurate and informative. The author also captures some of the struggles that are common to many musicians; overcoming nerves, the hard work required to master an instrument, exhausting auditions and sometimes just wanting to take a break. It is this passion for music and her love for Adam that ultimately will play a significant part in Mia's final decision. Adam gives Mia something we all need, a reason for living and a reason for going on in the face of such heartrending loss.

Forman doesn't give her readers a sense of the loss Mia experiences - even during the accident scene. Mia's loss is muted on purpose due to Mia being neither alive nor dead. Contributing to this inability to feel is her narrative which focuses on what happened in her life prior to the accident. Mia finally experiences the fullness of that loss in the very last pages when Mia through the music Adam plays for her;

"Yo-Yo Ma continues to play, and it's like the piano and cello are being poured into my body...And the memories of my life as it was, and the flashes of it as it might be, are coming so fast and furious....
...somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I'm feeling things at last. I'm feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill."

Overall If I Stay was a well-written, engaging novel. Forman has written a sequel to If I Stay which is titled Where She Went which is written from Adam's point of view.

If I Stay has been brought to the film screen and is scheduled to be released to movie theaters in August, 2014. 

Book Details:
If I Stay by Gayle Forman
New York: Dutton Books     2009
196 pp.

Beneath My Mother's Feet by Amjed Qamar

Beneath My Mother's Feet is a beautifully written novel which examines the role of women and their expectations in Pakistani society.

Fourteen-year-old Nazia lives with her family in Gizri colony, a working-class neighborhood in southern Karachi. She attends Gizri School for Girls with her friends Maleeha and Saira and is preparing for her arranged marriage which is to happen soon. She hopes to be able to continue her studies once married.

The story opens with Nazia arriving home from school to find that her father Abbu has been injured at his construction job. In the weeks following Abbu's accident, it becomes apparent that Nazia's family will have a difficult time surviving. At first they are able to subsist on the money her Amma saved from her sewing jobs. But with no one to help support the family things change for the worse quickly.

Amma pulls Nazia out of school to watch her younger siblings, ten-year-old Isha and four-year-old Mateen, while she cleans homes in the Defense Housing area - a section of residential homes owned by Karachi's elite. Amma is now a masi - a servant who cleans the homes of the wealthy. The work is hard for Amma so instead of watching her younger siblings, Nazia also begins to clean homes. The work is dirty, exhausting and endless, and pays poorly.

Nazia wants to finish school but with each month that she is forced to stay and help her mother, her dream of getting an education seems to be slipping away. Further disaster strikes when her jahez (dowry) is stolen, her father loses the rent money and then disappears and her family loses their home. Due to the family's precarious financial situation and the loss of her dowry, her Uncle Tariq breaks her engagement to his son Salam. While Nazia's mother takes the loss of the engagement hard, Nazia herself is not so sure that this is a bad thing.

Gradually Nazia comes to the realization that she has choices and that she doesn't always have to just accept what "fate" will bring her. "When did Nazia have the right to start thinking on her own? Was there some unwritten law that said even when things were going wrong, when the choices that her parents made led to one disaster after another, she had to ride the waves, holding her breath?"  She has the choice to continue her studies with the help of her friend Maleeha. She has the choice to leave her life of servitude with the help of a former teacher. Her life isn't necessarily dictated by fate. And so when Nazia helps a servant boy, Sherzad flee from a life of servitude she herself makes a different choice. Although her Uncle returns and arranges for her to return to Punjab with him and his son for their wedding, Nazia decides upon a different path for herself.

Discussion

In Beneath My Mother's Feet, author Amjed Qamar has crafted characters with substance and realism. The central character, Nazia is a teenager who we see is in the process of maturing and thinking for herself. Nazia loves her father. At first she refuses to accept Amma's opinion that he is lazy and deceitful and has shirked his responsibilities as a provider for his family. Nazia considers his situation and his actions carefully before she comes to a conclusion about him. She is intelligent and as she is exposed to the world around her, Nazia begins to realize that she has choices in her life. She matures from a young teen who simply follows her mother to someone who has the courage to made a decision that might be in her best interests but which will also conflict with what her mother wants for her.

Nazia's Amma is also a beautifully crafted character. Amma is portrayed as a long suffering wife who has struggled to cope with a difficult husband. She appears to favour her irresponsible son, Bilal, who abandons the family to look after his own needs but in the end she really does understand that her son is very much like his father. " 'Because Bilal is like his father. Why do you think I work as a masi? Because it was all I could do to protect Bilal from his father. They are the same. No matter how much they mean well, they cannot fight the shaitan - the devil - that lives within. They know what is right, what is wrong, but they always do what they know best. Cheat. Lie. Steal.' " Amma is also a woman of extraordinary strength and resolve. She accepts the fact that she must look after her family by herself and she sets out to do this. Even as she suffers one hardship after the next, Amma is representative of the resilience of Pakistani women in a culture that places certain expectations and limitations on them.

The story in Beneath My Mother's Feet succeeds because readers are able to experience an emotional connection to certain characters: Nazia and Amma because of their personal struggles and their physical suffering, and even Abbu, who is a generally dislikeable character. He always seems to have an ulterior motive, making him an annoying character. It soon becomes apparent that much of the suffering Nazia and her family experience are due to this man's irresponsibility. Although most of the male characters in the book are not positive role models, Qamar seems to imply that this is a family trait and not a statement on the men of Pakistan. For example, her friend Maleeha's brother, Hisham, is respectful and treats both Nazia and Maleeha with kindness.

There are many interesting themes that run throughout Beneath My Mother's Feet. The dominant theme concerns the relationship between mothers and daughters in Pakistani culture. The title of this novel is part of a quote attributed to the prophet Muhammad, "The gates of heaven lie beneath a mother's feet." This is a well-known Islamic saying that the way to Paradise is to serve, respect and honor one's mother. However, Nazia struggles with this. Amma expects that Nazia will do what she asks of her to please her - as a dutiful daughter. Yet as the novel progresses, Amma comes to the realization that Nazia is different and Nazia realizes that she will not be happy with the choices that her mother has made for her. While Amma expects that Nazia will marry because this offers her the best path in life, Nazia feels differently. It is not an easy decision to go against her mother, but unlike Bilal, she does it gently and with respect towards her mother. "...She asked Allah to forgive her for what she was about to do, and she hoped that Amma wouldn't think she was abandoning her in the same way Bilal had. When the time came, Nazia wanted the gates of heaven to be open for her."

Beneath My Mother's Feet is a well-written engaging novel that would be a great choice for a mother/daughter book club. There are many themes and ideas to explore in such a reading. Beneath My Mother's Feet is an absorbing coming of age novel for younger teens.

Book Details:
Beneath My Mother's Feet by Amjed Qamar
New York: Atheneum Books 2008
198 pp.