Where I Belong by Gillian Cross

In Where I Belong, the story is told in alternating voices of four teenagers whose lives come together in a very unexpected manner. 

Adbi

Fourteen-year-old Adbi  (Abdirahman) Ahmed Mussa, an ethnic Somali, was born in the Netherlands, where his mother fled to when things turned ugly. His mother Maamo was pregnant with him and his father, Ahmed Mussa Ali, was desperate to get her out of the country. He stayed behind because his parents were sick, but he promised to come get them when the country became safe again. It never did. So Adbi and Maamo, his mother lived alone, with his father sometimes visiting. After Adbi, there was Fowsia, Maryan, and Sahra. When Adbi was ten, his father sent them to England, to a place called Battle Hill where his friend Suliman Osman and his family along with many other Somalis lived. Adbi and his father kept in touch through the internet which he accessed from one of  the internet cafes run by Uncle Osman Hersi's son, Suliman Osman. His mother told Adbi that they had to save money to bring Abbo to England. When Adbi was thirteen-years-old, they finally had enough money to bring Abbo over but after the money was sent, they never heard from him. His mother asked other Somalis to find out what happened to Ahmed Mussa Ali and eventually Adbi and his family learned that his father was dead.

One day Adbi arrives home to see his Uncle Suliman Osman and his wife, Auntie Safia visiting their flat. His uncle tells him that his sisters need an older sister to watch over them and to that end they want to bring over the daughter of a man in Somalia. They tell Abdi that her name is Khadija and that she is fourteen-years-old. He agrees for her to come to England to live with his family.

Khadija

Khadija Ahmed Moussa is a thirteen-year-old native Somalian who lives in a remote village with her younger brother Mahmoud and her siblings, Zainab and Sagal. When she was younger, her father was a rich man who owned many camels, sheep and goats, as well as having businesses in Mogadishu and Beledweyne. Her father had a second wife, but Khadija never saw her as she and her brothers and her mother travelled from one pasture to the next. Then things changed. The rains stopped, her father came and took three of the camels away to sell. He returned briefly a second time, with a camera and took pictures of Khadija. The third time he came, her mother told her that she would be going to her father's house in Mogadishu. At first Khadija believes she is being taken away to be married, however, on the way, Khadija's father reveals that she is going to England where she will get an education. Khadija argues with her father because she wants to stay with her family. 

They meet a smuggler who tells Khadija that he is her Uncle Guleed Mussa Ali and he will take her to England. She is given a plastic suitcase by her father with a few items of clothing in it. When Khadija tells her father that she didn't ask to go he tells her that life is getting harder in Somalia, and that if she goes to England eventually she will be able to help the family and maybe someday, even Somalia. Her journey begins with a boat that takes her to Kenya. From there she travels by road and then by plane to England. Once in England, Khadija travels by train and then is left at a telephone box where she is met by Adbi. She will live with Adbi, his mother Maamo and his sisters. 

Freya Dexter

Freya is the daughter of iconic fashion designer, Sandy Dexter and former war photographer David. Her father who has photographed the wars in Darfur, Afghanistan, Rwanda and Somalia, now teaches photography and does photography portraits. Her parents are separated but remain on friendly terms with each other. Freya spends most of her time with her dad who is more reliable and grounded than her flighty mom who is always trying to create a new avant-garde collection.

Freya first learns about Somalia after her mother comes to pick her up from her father's flat. While there Sandy selects a bunch of books on Somalia, which puzzles both Freya and her father David. The next morning at breakfast, Sandy shows Freya pictures in one of the books of a woman in a beautiful patterned headscarf, and raves about the design. She doesn't seem to notice the buildings in the background with bullet holes  or the ruin and devastation. Her mother believes fashion "...is a way of understanding the world...". Freya knows her mother will be immersed in this for hours so she meets up with her friend Ruby for lunch. When she returns she finds the flat empty, her mother gone, and a message from her mother's apprentice, Stefan that she will be away for a few days and directs  her to stay with her dad. Having picked up a few groceries, Freya is annoyed but goes to her father's flat.

Mahmoud

Back in Somalia, Khadija's younger brother remembers her smile, as she left in the car. In Somalia the drought has dried out their pastures, and the sheep were sold to buy food for the camels. The wells dried up and Mahmoud and his family set out to walk to the last well they hope might have water. They are beginning to realize that unless it rains, they will have to walk to the camp to ask for food. This is what happens and so Mahmoud and his sisters and mother walk to the camp. 

As they walk, one by one their camels begin to die and this means that Mahmoud much carry more of their bundles. When the arrive at the camp they find hundreds and hundreds of "makeshift shelters" with many children playing in the dust. The conditions in the camp are shocking to Mahmoud and his little sisters. They are eventually alloted a space to set up a shelter. A fight by young men in the camp destroys both their shelter and all the food they have saved. As they work to rebuild their shelter of poles and mats, Mahmoud's only hope is his sister Geri in England.

With all the major characters now introduced the story moves forward in alternating voices. Six months after arriving in England, Adbi, Khadija and the Somali community learn that Somalia has been hit by severe drought. They know this not from the English news but from the Somali news sites that the older men in the Somali community read. At first Adbi doesn't really understand the implications of the drought because he believes most of Somalia is desert. When he accompanies Khadija to Suliman's internet cafe, Adbi sees pictures of the drought in Somalia. For Khadija the images are heartbreaking and troubling. She wants to help her family but the only way is to send money. She sends Mahmoud an email asking him how they are and Khadija decides she needs to get a job.

Noticing that Auntie Safia is struggling in her store, Khadija offers to help out and she is hired to work two evenings a week. Khadija intends on sending the money back to her family in Somalia. But when Maamo learns of her job, she is furious because it means Khadija must walk home late at night and also because of the low pay. Adbi reluctantly agrees to walk Khadija to and from her job.

Meanwhile Sandy Dexter has returned from Paris and is busy researching Somalia for her next collection. While making breakfast, Sandy asks Freya how a picture of a woman wearing a burka makes her feel. Sandy believes that Freya felt curiosity about what it would be like to wear a burka and she brings out two black burkas. Sandy wants both of them to wear the burkas and walk around Battle Hill, but Freya refuses. She feels this is disrespectful and rude because they are not Somalian. So Sandy goes by herself. However, after her mother leaves, Freya changes her mind, dresses in the burka and takes the bus to Battle Hill. When she puts on the burkha Freya notes "Veils are all about hiding...." but she comes to feel that it might be a source of power. 

Freya manages to find her mother in Battle Hill where she is watching a heated discussion between a boy and a girl, whom Freya notes is not only beautiful but graceful. Her mother has a knack for spotting the next runway model. The two people arguing are Adbi and Khadija because Adbi doesn't want to accompany her to her job. His friend Rageh is being sent back to Somalia to teach him better behaviour and Adbi wants to see him before he leaves. Sandy approaches Khadija with a potential offer of work and gives Khadija her business card with the name of a modelling agency on the back. Adbi is suspicious of this entire encounter especially since Sandy reveals herself to be a white Western woman. But Khadija isn't so dismissive. 

Together they check out Sandy Dexter on the computer at school. They discover that she is a famous fashion designer who designs clothes for a great deal of money. Khadija realizes that woth this job she might be able to bring her entire family out of Somalia. Abdi tells Khadija that Maamo and Auntie Safia will never agree to her working in this job, but Khadija asks him to keep this a secret until they find out more about the job.

A week later, Adbi and Khadija skip school to show up at the Meredith (Merry) Fox agency. When they cannot locate Sandy, Merry calls Freya at school and asks her to come to the agency. Eventually Sandy shows up and Khadija is made to walk up and down. Sandy pretends that she doesn't like Khadija and tells Merry she will put them in a taxi. However, once on the street Sandy and Freya get into the taxi with Khadija and Adbi. Unknown to Sandy, Merry Fox sees them get into the taxi. In Sandy's workshop, when Khadija sees Sandy's "mood board" she realizes that this strange woman has fallen in love with Somalia. To Freya, the items on the mood board are "...a bunch of feathers, and cheap jewelry, and some garish secondhand fabric that wasn't even cleaned."  When Sandy asks that they bring Khadija's parents to talk about money, both Adbi and Khadija hesitate. Sandy tells them that the show isn't until September but that they mustn't tell anyone else because it is to be a secret and she needs the permission of Khadija's parents.

However, Freya isn't impressed with her mother. At home with her father she rants about how her mother seems unconcerned with the reality of what is happening in Somalia and is using it to create her next collection. So she sends her mother an email suggesting she take a risk and go to Somalia. 

Meanwhile, when Maamo and old Uncle Osman discover that Khadija and Adbi have been absent from school they question the two. At first they lie in an attempt to keep Khadija's secret but then she decides to tell them that she's been offered a job that could make her enough money to bring her family to England. When they refuse to reveal what the job is, Uncle Osman takes Adbi's phone. He promises to help Khadija's family but Adbi wonders how Sandy Dexter will now contact him. To keep a watch on Khadija, Auntie Safia has her work every night and pays her thirty pounds a week.  But Khadija hasn't forgotten Sandy Dexter's offer. Things become even stranger when Auntie Safia offers Khadiija five hundred pounds and then asks her what she really wants. Khadija tells her that she wants to get an education so she can help her family back in Somalia.  And Khadija, desperate to reach out to her brother Mahmoud, sends him an email from Suliman's cafe, revealing that she's received a job offer that will provide her with enough money to really help them.

After several months, Sandy discovers Freya's heated email and decides that to put her Somalia collection into context she is going to do the catwalk in Somalia and will stream it live into London Fashion Week. Freya's dad is horrified and angry at what Sandy is planning telling her she doesn't understand what the country is like. Eventually Sandy does connect again with Adbi who inexplicably finds his phone in his backpack and arranges to meet with him and Khadija and their parents. However, things turn ugly when Adbi gets a second phone call from an unknown man in Somalia who tells him they have Khadija's brother, Mahmoud and that she needs to pay them ten thousand dollars in ransom. A second phone call this time tells Khadija to have her friend Sandy Dexter help her get the money. Khadija believes that her email to Mahmoud was intercepted and is responsible for what has happened to him. 

For Adbi, there are two questions: How will Khadija get the money to save her brother? Who will help her and Adbi save Mahmoud? Because Khadija and Abdi feel that Maamo will never allow Khadija to display herself on the runway they seek the help of Abdi's uncle, Uncle Osman Hersi and the imam. When Uncle Osman tells them he cannot pay the ransom, Khadija seeks the help of his son, Suliman. He reveals that it was him who returned Adbi's phone and they decide to reveal Khadija's modelling offer.  It is Suliman who poses as Khadija's father, meets Sandy, David and Freya and agrees to make all of the arrangements for Sandy's show and for Khadija to travel to Somalia. It is Suliman who accompanies Khadija and Abdi over to Somalia for the fashion show. But once in Somalia, things take a mysterious turn as the kidnappers learn of the location of the fashion show, threaten Sandy and come to the village with Mahmoud demanding that his ransom be paid. When Sandy refuses to pay the money, things move swiftly to a final, strange resolution, and the revelation of who is behind the kidnapping.

Discussion

The novel, Where I Belong attempts to explore the theme of belonging in what is a somewhat bizarre and frankly, probably highly unlikely series of events. The story might have been more believable and been able to more thoroughly explore this issue if it had been simplified.

The novel has two storylines, told by four narrators: Adbi Mussa, Khadija and her brother Mahmoud, and Freya. The main story is that of a two young Somalis, Adbi Mussa and Khadija Mussa the Somali girl his family takes in to help her family. Adbi has never been to Somalia, having been born in the Netherlands and emigrated to England. He lives with his mother  and his three sisters in Battle Hill with many other Somalis.  His father is supposed to have died a few years earlier in Somalia. The young Somali girl they take in, who is called Geri by her family, is given the name of Khadija Mussa by the human smuggler. Khadija has left behind her parents and her younger brother Mahmoud in the hopes of getting an education and then helping her family. That possiblity comes in the form of an opportunity to model a new collection for a fashion designer named Sandy Dexter.

A second story involves Freya Dexter and her fashion designer mother Sandy Dexter and her photographer father, David who are separated. Sandy becomes interested in Somalia and the fabrics she sees in books. On a walk through Battle Hill dressed in a niqaab, Sandy spies Khadija and Adbi having an argument and eventually convinces her to model her new collection for Paris fashion week. Sandy also decides that she will live stream her collection from the desert in Somalia. 

The two stories gradually weave together when Adbi and Khadija learn that her brother Mahmoud has been kidnapped and that a ransom of ten thousand dollars is being demanded. Since her modelling job was a secret, the two cannot understand how the kidnappers in Somali learned of it. This is gradually revealed during the fashion show, when Adbi comes face to face with the father he believed was long dead but is now a Somali pirate and the uncle he believed was actually helping Khadija. 

Although the novel's title, Where I Belong suggests an exploration of the theme of belonging, this is given a somewhat superficial treatment mainly becuase it is eclipsed by a story driven by action rather than by the characters. The idea that a Western white woman could travel into Somalia, a country in the depths of a civil and humanitariou crisis and hold a fashion show in the middle of the desert seems highly improbable. The show is held within a village where the people are very poor: they live in houses made of "branches and mats", some of which are dismantled to make a "dressing room" for the models. One can only imagine what the villagers, whose culture is so different, would think and how they would feel at the intrusion of Westerners with a great deal of money in such a poor country. Gross attempts to get around this by having a Muslim man, Suliman Osman make all of the arrangements, from afar, in England. The risk of a wealthy, famous Western woman being kidnapped and extorted or worse would just make this extremely dangerous.

The theme of belonging is briefly treated in the character of Khadija who is struggling with life in England. She is given a fake name, Khadija, which feels like her identity is stripped away. In England, Adbi's mother Maamo won't talk about Somalia, and neither will the Somali girls at school. She wishes she had spent more time watching the desert on her drive with her father, because that was where she felt like she belonged. "I wish I'd kept quiet and looked at the country instead...I shall never travel through the desert like that again -- as someone who belongs there. That journey was the end of everything I knew before." That feeling is lost in England.  "Ever since I arrived in England, I'd been like a frozen girl. When my father handed me over to the hambaar man, he sent me into a world where no one knew me and no one cared who I was."  When she encounters Sandy Dexter, Khadija is recognized as a Somali and this makes her feel seen.

When Khadija first meets Sandy on the street in Battle Hill, her recognition of Khadija as Somalian make her feel "seen". However when Khadija arrives at Sandy's wearing a niqab she learns her name is now to be Qarsoon. "Qarsoon. Hidden. Another new name, to cover up the one the hambaar man told me to use. " Once again Khadija feels hidden. When she returns to Somalia for Sandy's fashion show, Khadija remembers the smell, 

Khadija begins to suspect that something isn't quite right from the very beginning. She wonders if anyone read her email to Mahmoud about being offered serious work? She is also suspicious of Suliman Osman's involvement - he seems to have an solution for everything. Before they leave to meet Sandy Dexter at David's flat, she discovers that Suliman has a gun under his car seat. She begins to question if they can trust him and asks Adbi if it's possible that Suliman listened to the message from Sandy on his phone. In Somalia, when Khadija learns that images can show up on several computers that she really begins to understand what may have happened - that in an internet cafe, someone may have seen her email she sent to Mahmoud in Somalia about her possible job. 

In Somalia, Khadija is focused on her brother Mahmoud after photograph the kidnappers provide of Mahmoud with his broken teeth and learning from Adbi that Sandy is not certain if paying the ransom is the right thing to do. "I felt like I was in the kind of dream where real things are unimportant and tiny details shake the earth. My brother had been captured by violent, ruthless men, but no one seemed to care whether he lived or died. The only thing that matter was how my eyes were painted.... So much money being spent on such trivial, frivolous things. What did these people think they were doing?"

Adbi is also beginning to explore where he belongs. Unlike Khadija, he doesn't have a connection to Somalia, having been born in Europe and raised in England. Meeting Sandy Dexter and seeing her world changes his perspective on his tight-knit Somali community. When his Uncle Osman confiscates Adbi's phone and tells him that what he does can affect the entire community and that he will try to help Khadija's family, Adbi notes, " A few days ago I would have believed him. Until then, I'd thought he was a really powerful, important man who could make big things happen. But that was before I'd stuck my nose into Sandy Dexter's world. Now I knew I'd spent my whole life inside a narrow box. All the real power and money were outside -- and that was where I wanted to be."

.

In Somalia, Adbi struggles to connect with what is supposed to be his homeland even though he has never lived there. They drive through villages with small houses, children driving scrawny goats and women carrying heavy bundles. "I kept struggling to connect.This is your country, I kept telling myself. This is where you belong. But I didn't even know what that meant...What was it like living here all the time? Looking after goats like those boys we'd passed on the road? It was impossible to imagine. What did they do for music? Where did they meet their friends?"  He doesn't understand life in Somalia as it is so different from his own experience.

Adbi helps to thwart the kidnapping when he recognizes the "...battered leather sheath" with a distinct "deep, jagged scratch" that one of the men has attached to his belt as belonging to his father. Initially he believes he is confronting his father's murderer but in fact, it is his father. He also has the courage to confront Suliman Osman who he claims organized the kidnapping. 

After the resolution of the kidnapping, Khadija goes on to model and is able to help her family. She belongs in England, but Mahmoud wants to remain in Somalia, living the quiet life of a nomad as his family has done for years. She is able to help her family stay in Somalia and to replenish their herd of camels.  Adbi feels drawn to becoming a photographer so he can show people the truth. He comes to realize that he doesn't belong in Somalia, a country he's never lived in. After exposing his father as one of the kidnappers, Adbi doesn't follow his father as he leaves. As Khadija states, "He could have chosen to go with his father....Have you thought of that? He could have stayed in Somalia forever. But he didn't. " Freya undestands that Adbi "knows where he belongs".

Freya also struggles with where she belongs within her own broken family: does she belong with her father, or her mother, or both? Freya is supposed to be living with her mother but this does not seem to be working out. Sandy is an eccentric, self-absorbed woman, whose single-minded focus on her work leaves Freya feeling abandoned by her mother. Sandy is often absent both physically and emotionally. When Freya returns from her mother's workshop after they first meet Khadija and Adbi, she expresses her outrage over what her mother is doing. She tells her father, "Look at all this Somalia stuff of hers. There's a whole country there -- a whole culture-- but she doesn't care about that. She's just ransakcing it for design ideas."  Freya continues, "She hasn't been to Somalia and seen the children with no legs and the towns that are shelled to bits. That's what she ought to do if she wants to be cutting edge.If she wants to explore the interface with reality."

She sends her mother, whom she calls by her first name, a heated email challenging her over what she is doing regarding Somalia. Later when her mother announces that she is in fact going to go to Somalia and do the show there, Freya tells her father " 'It's got to be serious, ' I said, 'Otherwise, why have I spent my life taking second place?' "  This emotional abandonment continues as Sandy becomes focused on creating her collection and setting up the show in Somalia. Sandy schedules a meeting with Khadija and Adbi and their "father" who is really Suliman Osman on Freya's birthday, cutting short her daughter's party and angering Freya. But Freya is also as ruthless as her mother, manipulating her parents to get what she wants. And she wants to go to Somalia so she threatens to reveal the identity of "Qarsoon" to a photographer named Tony Morales.

When Khadija reveals the truth of what is happening, Freya thinks, "I knew what it was like to have all your hopes hanging on Sandy. On what she might do. If she felt like it. I wanted to say something comforting, but there was only one thing I knew for certain...Sandy won't think about anything now until the show is over. She's totally focused on that. If it goes well then --yes, she might do something for you. She can be very generous sometimes."

Surprisingly, Sandy has the show continue even as the kidnappers show up with a badly beaten Mahmoud, Freya is horrified. "What was Sandy doing? How could she let the show carry on? It was monstrous --outrageous--for girls to be parading up and down out there when someone's life was at risk." Sandy confronts the kidnappers, ordering them to let the boy go, indicating that she will not give in to their demands. Not surprisingly, the kidnappers are undeterred. After the show, with the kidnappers having left, Freya asks her parents to get back together, a wish many children from broken families harbour. Her father, in telling a Somali folktale attempts to show Freya that they both love her and that she belongs to both of them. 

Overall, Where I Belong is a novel that attempts to explore the important theme of belonging but does so in an overly complicated way through the eyes of Somalian refugees caught up in kidnapping and extortion. This book may be of interest to those wanting to read something a little different.

Book Details:
Where I Belong by Gillian Cross
Maple Vail, York PA: Holiday House 2011
245 pp.