Hungry Ghost by Victoria Ying

Hungry Ghost is a touching graphic novel about one girl's journey out of an eating disorder, towards self-acceptance, self-love and healing. 

For as long as Valerie Chu can remember, her mother has watched what she eats. She remembers the birthday party where she first met Jordan, her best friend and where she was told to taste and not eat. Valerie has always wanted to be "gwai" or good or obedient.

But at school, although Val gets  good marks, she forces herself to throw up in the school washroom. To Val, it's something she has to do to be pretty. Val's mother reaffirms this belief when she remarks how fat her friend is when she sees Val walking home with Jordan. Val finds it comforting to "get rid" of the food she eats at family dinners. She also spends a lot of time online looking at other people's bodies and comparing them to hers.

When Val, Jordan and their friend Allan hang out together, Val tells them that her father is planning a trip to Base Camp 1 at Mount Everest. During this time with her friends, Val finds herself wishing that she and Allan were together. When they order burgers at the Fender Bender, Val is glad she purged earlier in the night, after dinner at home. But the time with her friends is stressful for Val who believes that in order to be liked by boys she has to be thin

Lunar New Year celebrations turn out to be very challenging for Val, with extended family visiting to celebrate. Val gets mixed messages: Auntie Shelby warns her not to get fat, while Auntie Nikki tells her she's beautiful. Val struggles with her need to purge after eating. When her mother serves pig trotters and dumplings, Val is conflicted over whether she should eat.

At a family meeting prior to his trip to Everest, Val's father briefs them on what to do if he doesn't survive. This is something he does frequently, as he loves to embark on challenging adventures.

As her father embarks on his trip, Val along with Jordan and their classmates travel to Paris, France. It's her first trip away from home, with friends and with a boy - Allan whom she is crushing on. For Val, Paris is the most romantic city in the world, and who knows what will happen between her and Allan? At dinner, Mrs. Owens encourages the students to order in French but Val notices the menu has lots of carbs and wonders how the French women stay so thin. Jordan doesn't care and Allan never noticed.

Dinner creates more stress as Val can't use a bathroom right away to purge. Eventually she becomes so distraught over eating dinner that even a moment alone with Allan in the art museum can't stop her from rushing to the bathroom to purge. Sensing Val is distressed about something, Jordan takes her on a impromptu exploration of the city, looking at fashion and eating delicious crepes. But when Val posts a picture of herself eating the crepe on Instagram, her mother responds critically.

Val's Paris trip is cut short when she is awoken during the night to learn that her father's plane on the way to Everest has crashed. She returns home to San Jose to find her mother unable to cope and mostly sleeping. However, after the funeral Val's mother continues to monitor her eating and calories. 

But coping with her father's death and her mother's control are not all Val must contend with. When she learns that her friend Allan has chosen Jordan over her, Val is forced to confront her own feelings about her body and how she views others. She must also decide whether she is going to live life on her own terms or those her of her mother.

Discussion

Hungry Ghost was written by Victoria Ying, a young writer who herself has struggled with an eating disorder and now considers herself fully recovered. In her Afterword, Ying writes, 

"When you have an eating disorder, all you can think about is food. First in the eating of it, and then in the guilt around having eaten it. It's an exhausting state of being.
I freed myself by letting go of any expectation for my body to fit the cultural ideal. I chose to be free, and I've never been happier."

In Hungry Ghost, Valerie, believes that being thin will make her happy. This is something she has learned from her mother who often makes comments about Val's friend, Jordan who has a full figure. Val thinks, "Poor Jordan. She's my favorite person in the whole world, but a football player wouldn't look at her twice." 

For Val, looking pretty takes work...and pain and sacrifice. Keeping herself thin is equated with "being good". She does this by eating and then purging, an eating disorder known as bulimia. Val can appear to eat normally but purges afterwards, so she looks normal to her friends and family. She describes it as making her feel "warm, comforted." Her purging allows Val to hide her eating disorder and blend in. 

While Val's mother treats her as though she doesn't think about what she's eating, in fact, it becomes apparent that this is all Val is thinking about. Her brief time in Paris sees her quickly notice the bodies of the French women there,  in contrast to her classmates who are busy enjoying the sights and sounds of Paris. After eating, Val becomes consumed with the task of finding a washroom to purge the calories she just consumed. However, at the same time, Val is beginning to notice that her friend Jordan, is a very happy person despite having a different body shape -despite being what her mother labels as "fat". For the first time Val asks herself, "Why am I so afraid? Maybe it doesn't take being thin to be....happy."

Her father's death forces Val to re-evaluate her own life. Val's father lived life on his own terms without any regrets. However, Val feels like she's "lived like a prisoner to my body." She believes her father would be disappointed in her. She wonders "Will people care that much about my body when I die? Am I my body?...How can this thing, this thing that I hate -- how could anyone care about it that much?"

The crisis point comes when Jordan visits Val after returning home from the Paris trip and reveals that she and Allan kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Shocked, Val asks Jordan why Allan would choose her, since she is not pretty and she's fat. Jordan can't believe that her best friend sees her as "fat and ugly" and she leaves. Later on, at dinner in a hotel, Val admits to her mother that she purges but the only thing that matter sto her mother is that Val is thin. At this point though, Val has made huge strides because she has admitted to her mother that she is sick.

It is Val's Aunt Nikki who helps set her on the path to recovery. She explains that although Val's mother loves her in the best way she knows how, it might  not be enough. Aunt Nikki advises that Val will have to find her own way to be happy. To that end, Val apologizes to Jordan and courageously reveals her illness to her best friend. This is a wonderful act of courage, as those with eating disorders often experience profound guilt and shame. Val tells Jordan that she believed that a person has to be thin to be happy but now realizes that she was self-centered and understands that being happy with who you are is the best way. With counselling and the decision to attend the school she wants instead of staying home with her mother, Val begins to heal and to have some self-acceptance. It is her choice to get better.

Ying has written a truly touching and deeply emotional story that promises to encourage those who are struggling with an eating disorder - and to offer them the hope that healing is possible. Although the novel makes it sound like a few counselling sessions and some deep thinking can cure an eating disorder, Hungry Ghost does get across the important message that first steps include acknowledging their illness,  and making the decision to seek help - sometimes referred to as taking ownership of their illness.  Val did all of this and although we don't know the end of the story, the novel does end on a very positive and hopeful tone.

Congratulations to Victoria Ying for writing such a difficult story. She too reflects the courage and determination of her character Valerie Chu. 

Book Details:

Hungry Ghost by Victoria Ying
New York: First Second    2023

200 pp.

Audacious by Gabrielle Prendergast

Audacious is a bold story about a girl struggling to understand herself, her place in the world and deal with the many problems in her life.

Sixteen year old Raphaelle's family moves to the wide open prairies when her father gets a new job as a professor of history at a university. Their new home is spacious, allowing Raphaelle and her younger sister Michaela to choose their own rooms. Life is supposed to be better, a fresh start for everyone.

Raphaelle is eager to move given that she has had a history of problems and acting out at all of her many previous schools. In an attempt to start over and remake herself, she changes her name to Ella and insists on attending the nearest public school, John Cretchly Collegiate rather than the Catholic one her parents want to send her and Michaela to. Michaela also decides to shorten her name to Kayli and will attend the Catholic Girls School.

Through a series of flashbacks told throughout the novel, we learn that Ella's family has had its share of struggles; Ella's mother lost a baby, a little boy named Gabriel shortly after he was born. Her mother has never seemed to recover from this loss which left her unable to have more children. She was a stay at home mom, but found it difficult to cope and so went out to work at the local public library. But in their new town, there are no jobs at the library and she begins to lose weight. Ella begins to suspect that her mother's struggle with bulimia has returned yet again. While all of this has been going on, Ella's father is mostly uninvolved, his focus being on trying to build his career as a professor.

On her first day at school, no one talks to Ella. She decides that there will be no pranks, vengeful practical jokes - nothing inappropriate, no challenging anyone's beliefs or morals. Ella will be the good girl; she will avoid controversy and blend in. In contrast to Ella, is Kayli, popular and happy, the sister who brings home two new friends the first week of school.

Ms. Sagal, Ella's art teacher is impressed by her drawing of a mandala. Sam, a boy in Ella's class also draws a mandala. Their serious approach to art attracts the attention of two classmates, Eugenia whom Ella nicknames "Freckle Arms" and a second girl she calls "Puffy Blonde". Sam and Ella are drawn to one another but their interest is affected by the strong cultural differences between them. Sam, as it turns out, is short for Samir and he is Muslim, the exact type of boyfriend Ella's family would not approve of. Sam tells Ella that he is serious about his faith, but that his family used to be more moderate until the 9-11 event.

Ms. Sagal tells Sam and Ella that she is in need of more pieces for the art exhibit. Ella who is struggling to cope with all the problems at home, reverts back to her bad behaviour and decides to do something controversial. The impetus for this comes from Sam whom Ella tricked into whispering into her ear resulting in him calling her "audacious". This gives Ella the idea for her art piece - nine pictures of women who go against convention. She will use the letters in the word, "audacious" to determine the subject of each picture. A will be Arab, u stands for unemployed, d for disabled and so forth. However, Ella has a shocking idea for the letter "c" - a crass, four letter slang to describe a part of the female body. Ms.Sagal approves of Ella's idea, without knowing about the subject matter for the letter "c".

Ms. Sagal's interest in Ella leads her to breakdown and confide in her teacher, telling her about the loss of Gabriel, her mother's bulimia and her father's refusal to acknowledge the problems within their family.

Ella begins her project, photographing various people for each of the letters in the word, "audacious", including Sam's older sister, Hala who represents "arab", Ms. Sagal's daughter, Marika who is disabled for the letter "d", and a homeless woman named the Phantom for the letter u which stands for ugly. For the letter "c", Ella takes a picture of her own body. Ella hangs all of her pictures but one up the day before the exhibition, returning early the next day to place the "c" picture in her artwork. Her idea is that although we use these different words to describe women, in reality these words are not who we are; in reality we are all very similar.

As it turns out, Ella is not the only student with a controversial piece of art. Samir's art is a statement for the creation of a Palestine homeland - controversial but not pornographic like Ella's work. While Ella's work is shocking, and Ms. Sagal seems to approve, the offending picture is removed from Ella's art, but the fallout is just beginning. One of the students takes a picture of the "c" picture and posts it to Facebook. Considered child pornography, Ella is arrested and charged and Ms. Sagal is suspended. This happens all before Christmas but only leads to a crisis of epic proportions within Ella's family. Her mother, whose bulimia is now life-threatening ends up in hospital and Kayli, the only seemingly perfect person in the family is failing in school. This crisis provokes their father to finally notice that the family is deeply in trouble and to act.

Can Ella come to terms with who she is and with the realities of life? Can she and her family pull back from the abyss they find themselves teetering over and find a way to heal and help one another?

Discussion

This novel in verse is well written, the prose sometimes rhyming and very well done. The subject matter is for more mature, older teens and touches on themes of bullying, forgiveness, acceptance, and identity. The theme of identity is especially reflected in Ella's journey of discovering and accepting herself and is also mirrored in Samir, a Muslim who experiences conflict between the personal freedoms secular society offers and the duties his Muslim faith requires of him.

Facing a crisis in school, charges in court and a deteriorating relationship with Samir, as well as her art provoking a possible hate crime, Ella questions the suffering people experience in life and the existence of God. She also begins to comprehend the consequences of her actions not only for herself but also for others who were innocent. The reality of this doesn't sink in until she goes to visit Ms. Sagal who has been suspended over the art exhibit. Ella sees that she is a single mom who needs her job to be able to support her disabled daughter and that's when she begins to think about somebody besides herself. This is a significant step in her journey towards maturity.

The theme of identity is especially prominent in the novel and Prendergast employs the pink chiffon dress that Ella mentions at the beginning of the novel as its symbol. Prior to their move to the country, Ella as Raphaelle discovered this pink dress at thrift store and loved the long sleeves and high collar as well its bright colour. The dress becomes a symbol of her identity - her desire to not conform to please others and a symbol of her rebellion. Raphaelle wore this "floaty, hot pink vintage dress/To a black and white ball...", making her stand out in a sea of black. The other girls in junior high lured her into a room underneath the stairs with a bottle of whisky and then locked her there, until her dad came with the police to rescue her. 

With the move and the fresh start, Ella decides to give the dress away, but Kayli rescues it, recognizing that it is an integral part of who Ella really is. When Ella is packing to run away with Samir to New York, she discovers the dress and decides to keep it, recognizing and accepting what her sister did months ago. As proof of this, Ella decides to wear this dress to the Phantom lady - Charlotte Connelly's  funeral. Charlotte Connelly was a woman who lived life on her own terms - even if that meant being on the street. Given the significance of the pink dress to Ella's life and to her inner struggle, its unfortunate that the cover art doesn't really capture that significance, especially given the title of the novel. For someone like Ella, a more flamboyant pink dress might have worked to engage readers.

Prendergast tackles many controversial topics in Audacious including the "Arab question", art vs. pornography, and the feminist notion of a woman's right to control her own body, as well as the nature of suffering and the existence of God. Despite all these weighty issues, the story doesn't feel bloated with too much substance because Raphaelle is a character who seems to be truly struggling to figure herself out. Her questions about the nature of God and suffering are especially pertinent because many people, not just teens, struggle to understand this mystery and it is often a serious roadblock to faith.

Audacious is the first in a series of books, the second to be titled, "Capricious", which seems fitting given the ending of this novel. 

Book Details:
Audacious by Gabrielle Prendergast
Victoria, B.C.: Orca Book Publishers 2013
327 pp.

Tyranny by Lesley Fairfield

Tyranny is a graphic novel by artist Lesley Fairfield which explores the struggle of a young woman as she develops an eating disorder. We follow Anna as she enters puberty and begins to feel she is too fat because of the changes her body is experiencing. Her dreams and excitement over the potential of her young life begin to fade as she is consumed by a fear of eating and becoming fat.Anna states

"I felt trapped inside my new body. My imagination worked overtime, and before long, I was tormented and miserable! I was desperate to have my younger body back."

So Anna decides to diet and lose weight. which she does remarkably well. But she can never be quite thin enough. Food is her enemy that will make her fat and ugly. Anna begins to spiral faster and faster into behaviours that are harmful. She weighs herself several times a day, and calorie count, and finds that she is no longer able to eat at all. Soon she becomes too sick to attend high school, drops out and gets her own apartment when her relationship with her parents breaks down. At first things seem to be fine but Anna's eating disorder gets worse. She has no energy to keep a job and becomes physically ill. She ends up in hospital and under the care of a psychiatrist.

Eventually she gets another job and meets some new friends one of which she becomes close to. That girl also has an eating disorder. However, when a tragic event occurs, Anna realizes that she can no longer cope on her own and that she wants her life back. Anna decides she wants to live. She goes into treatment and discovers that she can deal with Tyranny. She learns to claim her thoughts, and to discover who she really is! She begins to fight for her life and for who she really is.

Tyranny is her alter ego, the fear behind her eating disorder, the demon that pushes her to stop eating. Anna learns to confront Tyranny, control her and ultimately banish her. Her life no longer belongs to fear and to Tyranny.

This book is a beautiful concept about a terrible illness, written by a woman who has struggled with an eating disorder for thirty years. Lesley Fairfield's unique illustrations aptly show the dysmorphia that Anna has. This distortion is also reflected in the image of Tyranny.

Eating disorders are the bane of many young women today given the cultural climate of perfection presented in advertising and entertainment. It was my children who have made me realize just how desensitized we can be to this. Every ad showing a woman's body is that of apparent perfection but is in reality a huge distortion of what women actually look like. It is not only models that are part of this myth but also any actress or performer who allows their image to be photoshopped.

This book is a must for all young adult collections.

Book Details:
Tyranny by Lesley Fairfield
Toronto: Tundra Books 2009
114 pp.