Words On Bathroom Walls by Julia Walton

 Sixteen-year-old  Adam Petrazelli has schizophrenia. He is unusual in that his symptoms appeared when he was young, around the age of eight. Adam sees things that other people do not see, like beautiful, tall, blond Rebecca, or huge bats. Since Adam won't communicate verbally with his therapist, he writes journal entries. He's also on an experimental drug, ToZaPrex. Because of problems at his previous school his mother and stepfather have decided to move him to a private school, St. Agatha's.

On his first day he is assigned a school ambassador, Ian Stone, whom Adam recognizes as a "douche". True to form, as soon as Adam goes to pick up his PE uniform, Ian ditches him. At this point he meets a girl, whose name he soon learns is Maya, who helps him get to his next class. There Adam meets Dwight Olberman  with whom he has most of his classes.

Adam is able to get out of religion homework by rewriting "the mysteries of the rosary, the Prayer of St. Augustine, and the Hail, Holy Queen from memory." But this has consequences in that he is signed up for the Academic Team. One day after gym class, Adam hears splashing in the pool and when he goes to investigate, discovers Maya floundering and drowning. He saves her and they soon become friends and then a couple.

Adams entries tell about his abandonment by his father, his mother remarrying a lawyer named Paul, his love of cooking, and is growing relationship with Maya. But soon, the new drug Adam is taking presents health risks, resulting in researchers slowly lowering the dosage and withdrawing him from the study. Adam hasn't told his friend Dwight nor his girlfriend Maya. It isn't until a disastrous situation at prom, that the truth comes out and Adam must confront the reality of life with his secret revealed.

Discussion

Readers looking for a novel that tackles the topic of schizophrenia in an honest, accurate way without getting bogged down in tropes, won't find it in Words On Bathroom Walls by Julia Walton. Although Walton's character, Adam, a young teen diagnosed with schizophrenia, is witty and intelligent, the portrayal of this mental illness is decidedly one dimensional and the novel unrelenting in its misrepresentations about the Catholic faith.

Although Adam is in therapy he won't talk to his therapist. "I don't always say the things I mean to say when I talk to someone. It's impossible to swallow words after letting them out, so it's better for me not to speak at all if I can help it..." Instead he writes about their sessions afterwards in the form of journal entries. These entries, dated from August 15, 2012 to June 26, 2013, form the story of Adam's life as he struggles with his mental illness.

Adam claims that he is an expert on his condition. At the beginning of the novel he tells readers,  "There really is no clear path for the disease to travel. Some people have visions. Some people hear voices. And some people just get paranoid." To be diagnosed with schizophrenia, specific diagnostic criteria must be fulfilled. According to the current DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5) Manual, two or more of the following symptoms must be present for a significant period of time to merit a diagnosis of schizophrenia: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, grossly disorganized or catatonic behaviour, and negative symptoms (flat effect, avolition, and anhedonia). Yet Adam has only hallucinations (seeing/hearing things that are not really there) and technically doesn't meet the criteria for someone with schizophrenia.

Walton's portrayal of stigma surrounding mental illness is well done. Adam admits that his greatest fear is that "someday I won't be able to watch the parade of hallucinations without doing what they tell me to do because I'm afraid the drug will stop working. And everyone might have a good reason to be afraid of me." This is a fear that anyone with any medical condition requiring medication might have, but must be particularly acute for those with a mental health condition.

Adam's worry about losing control is brought to the forefront after the Sandy Hook shooting and a classmate's suggesting that the shooter should have just killed himself. Adam doesn't say anything in response because he fears it will show sympathy for the shooter. "...I was angry because whoever had said it has no idea what it's like to lose control. They don't know what it's like to be haunted by your own mind. They don't understand the mad desire to make the voices stop even if it means doing what they tell you to..."

While this is supposed to be a novel about a rare situation of a teenage boy with schizophrenia and all that entails, the author has gone out of her way to mock Catholics and the Catholic faith. In fact, readers may question the author's true motive here - is it to bring about understanding of mental health issues or to bash Catholics. It seems the setting of the story in St. Agatha's, a private Catholic school was chosen so that every possible trope about Catholics, Catholic schools, the sacraments, nuns and the Catholic faith could be employed. By his own admission, Adam has received all the sacraments, but doesn't regularly attend Mass and doesn't believe in God and isn't a practicing Catholic. So it is puzzling that his mother would send him to a Catholic private school when she herself places little value on her faith and her son isn't practicing.

Adam's cynical, derisive voice is especially strident when describing anything Catholic. Holy Communion is "You know, where they hand out pieces of Jesus made of stale wafers." Adam states he doesn't " like the idea of some old guy shoving food in my mouth." or sharing a wineglass with someone with a cold sore (very few churches offer Holy Communion under both species.)  Sister Catherine who teaches Adam religious theory is often described in derogatory terms, "...Sister Catherine's mouth was twisted in a maniacal grin..." Some of his worst remarks are saved for the Knights of Columbus who are "...old men with papery skin and knobby knees" with a "creep factor". Adam's mother doesn't like them because "...it's they way they protect family values, but only families that are like theirs. I think it's also the way they like to quote Leviticus." - a reference to the Catholic church's teaching against same sex marriage. No one is forcing Adam's mother to stay in the Catholic church - if she doesn't believe in its teachings she is free to leave. And no one forced her to place her son in a Catholic school, so why did she?

The author brings in the Sandy Hook shootings in which twenty children and six adults were shot to death by Adam Lanza in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012. Lanza had the same first name as the novel's main character but was not schizophrenic - a fact never clarified in the novel. He had been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, depression, anxiety and OCD. Walton uses the shootings to bring up the discussion around mental illness and mass murder.

But here again Walton has Adam inexplicably attack the Catholic faith. The school board head, Ian Stone's father, has a meeting with Adam's parents which upsets Adam greatly. Apparently the school board has objected to the secrecy surrounding Adam, a student they did not have to admit. Adam views this with his typical derogatory cynicism, "I knew they'd want to have a board meeting, perhaps a public inquisition to keep things Catholic." So the entire situation seems unreasonable and ridiculous. Adam, who in the first one hundred plus pages has ridiculed almost every aspect of Catholicism complains "This conflicts with the church's actual teachings though, which is highly inconvenient for them. The Bible teaches tolerance. I doubt that that Jesus would have encouraged people to 'out' me as a schizo."

Walton's attack on Catholicism reaches a new low when Adam and Maya have sex in a school closet, after having just rehearsed the "Stations of the Cross" (really a passion play) Adam still in his costume as Jesus Christ and Maya who portrays Mary Magdalene. It's a portrayal that most Catholics would consider blasphemous.

Walton had the chance to demonstrate how faith can help people to cope with mental illness. A study done by University of Missouri researchers found that "better mental health is associated with increased spirituality." Adam, as a Catholic, could have received significant emotional support by having a good spiritual director in the form of a regular confessor. Instead Adam and his family see their church as unsupportive, intolerant, and controlling. So why be a part of something you don't believe in?

Words On Bathroom Walls could have been a great book that explored the issues surrounding mental illness, especially schizophrenia, which many people misunderstand and are therefore fearful. While there are some excellent passages, such as Adam's thoughts on what it feels like to lose control, most of this novel is unrelentingly anti-Catholic and deeply offensive. I can't imagine the same novel set in a Muslim school, as it likely would have been refused publication.

The premise of Words On Bathroom Walls is to ask for tolerance, understanding and acceptance for people with mental health issues especially those who have a serious illness like schizophrenia. Ironically this novel does not encourage that same tolerance, understanding and acceptance to those who are Catholic.

Addendum:
For those who are experiencing mental health issues please know that your Catholic church loves and cares for you. Most Catholic high schools recognize the struggles of young people today and have social workers and youth workers as well as other resources available. Many Catholic school boards have specific policies on mental health and work to foster a climate of respect, love, compassion and concern for those dealing with mental illness. Bullying of those with mental health issues is not tolerated.

National Catholic Partnership on Disability

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops statement on the Newtown tragedy.

There are several renewed teaching orders of sisters in the United States and Canada including but not limited to the Dominican Sisters of Our Lady Mother of the Eucharist and the Sisters of Our Lady Immaculate.   As evidenced by their websites, these orders a young, vibrant and faithful to Catholic teaching.

Book Details:

Words On Bathroom Walls by Julia Walton
New York: RandomHouse Children's Books     2017
pp. 288

The Anatomical Shape of A Heart by Jenn Bennet

The Anatomical Shape of A Heart is a contemporary romance that explores the themes of identity and family. Beatrix Adams lives with her mother who is an emergency room nurse at Parnassus Medical Center and her older brother, Heath. Beatrix, who goes by the name of Bex, is fascinated by anatomy and aspires to be a medical illustrator. She's hoping to be allowed to draw the cadavers in the anatomy lab at the hospital so that she can enter a student drawing competition in July that offers a scholarship prize. But she first needs permission from the director of the lab, Dr. Sheridan. When Dr. Sheridan doesn't show for their meeting Bex finds herself taking the Owl transit bus to her home
in the Inner Sunset district, a few blocks from Golden Gate Park. While waiting for the bus she meets an attractive boy all dressed in black. Teasing him that he looks like a jewel thief, he tells her that Jack the Burglar is a good name, leading Bex to believe that his first name is Jack.

When the bus jerks to a stop and a can of gold metallic spray pain rolls out, Bex realizes she knows who he is. Someone has been spraying gold graffiti all over San Francisco since May. The graffiti, words like BEGIN, FLY, BELONG, JUMP, TRUST, have appeared as single words in gold paint on bridges and buildings. The gold paint tin leads Bex to believe that Jack is the person doing the graffiti. The police are convinced that the graffiti vandal is associated with a group called Discord who opposes the mayor.

Both Bex and Heath just make it home before their mother unexpectedly returns home that night. Bex hears her mother argue on the phone with an unknown person. The next morning Bex goes to her job as a checkout girl at Alto Market, an upscale gourmet market. Her manager, Ms. Lopez, tells her that the gold graffiti vandal has struck again overnight, painting the Ninth Avenue Golden Gate Park with the word BLOOM.

Determined to find out more about Jack, Bex talks to Panhandler Will, a homeless man who hangs around the Parnassus. The only thing he tells her is that Jack comes to visit a lady friend in the hospital. A few days later Bex meets Jack who has also been attempting to find out who she is. Bex only tells Jack that she's one of the contributing artists on an anatomy illustration blog called Body-O-Rama and challenges him to identify her. Meanwhile, Bex has her meeting with Dr. Sheridan who refuses her permission to draw cadavers because the facility is for the university students.

On her birthday, Bex along with her mom and Heath go to the Legion of Honor, an art museum showing an exhibition entitled Flesh and Bone and featuring Max Brodel's heart diagram. During her visit the area beneath the heart diagram is vandalized with the word, CELEBRATE in gold. Bex suspects that Jack saw her birthday post on the blog and wrote this for her. Bex takes a picture and posts it online with the comment "Golden Apple vandal wishing me a happy birthday."  This garners her a visit from the police inquiring as to whether she knows the vandal but Bex insists she does not know the identity of the vandal.

When Jack shows up at Alto Market, Bex angrily tells him about the police visit. She learns his name is Jackson Vincent and also tells him about not being able to draw in the anatomy lab and how she needs to do this so she can enter something spectacular in the art show to gain a scholarship. Jack promises to get her into the anatomy lab. The very next day Bex is contacted by Dr. Sheridan's assistant who tells her she can draw under the supervision of a student. Bex knows that Jack arranged this for her and wonders just who he really is. Meanwhile Bex receives a beautifully carved articulated artist's mannequin from a studio in Berkeley, California. Heath reveals to Bex that their father recently moved to Berkeley leading her to suspect it is from their father. Her mother has told them that their father abandoned them for a stripper and has refused to pay child support. Two years ago, Beatrix changed her last name from her father's Van Asch to Adams.

When Bex goes to draw at the anatomy lab, she is deeply upset at drawing a female cadaver nicknamed "Minnie". She rushes out of the lab and is sick to her stomach on the street where she meets Jack who comforts her. He takes her to an unusual tea lounge to recover and Bex finds herself increasingly attracted to him. At the tea lounge they have an unexpected encounter with Sierra, an old friend of Jack's who invites them to a party. Jack declines and somewhat explains his relationship with Sierra.  Bex meets Jack a few days later and finds him disheveled and confused. He's picked up by his father, leaving Bex puzzled over what's happening, especially since he seems in great distress. His texts only deepen the mystery further. The more Bex is in contact with Jack, the more questions she has about who he is and what is happening in his life.



Discussion

There's plenty to dislike about the beginning of this novel and some of the messages it sends teens. In an attempt to seem cool and perhaps relevant to teens, The Anatomical Shape of A Heart is filled with a plethora of unlikeable characters who think nothing of behaving badly. Of course bad characters make novels interesting, but in this case, the first part of the novel gets bogged down in raunchy characters who promote the worst behaviours of modern culture. One of the main characters, Jackson Vincent, is a graffiti artist who is defacing various areas around San Francisco. He's acting out the frustrations he has over his ever-absent, cold father who is Mayor of San Francisco and the sadness he feels about his twin sister's mental illness. He is a mysterious character who draws the reader in because at first glance he appears to be the quintessential bad boy. Bex, is a sexually active teenager/wannabe medical illustrator whose main focus seems to be on having sex with Jack. In fact her narrative is filled with sexual innuendo and she's constantly fantasizing about Jack's body and sex, making the mystery of Jack's true identity and the secrets he's keeping almost insignificant.

Bex has a mother who thinks nothing of stealing EIGHT boxes of condoms from the hospital for her daughter for when she has sex with Jack. Readers are told Bex's mother does this on a regular basis for her gay son Heath who himself has crashed and burned several times both academically and in his relationships. Bex's parents divorced after her father abandoned the family several years ago. Bex's mother has told her children that their father left them for a stripper and that he refused to pay child support. This meant that they lost their home, that Bex had to leave her school and unless she is able to obtain a significant scholarship will be unable to attend university to study art. When Bex meets her father in Berkley she learns that all of this is not true. Her mother has also prevented her ex-husband from having any contact with his children, despite his desire to see them and his right to do so as a their father. Although Bex's mother is portrayed as a hardworking, caring mother, her actions towards their father and denying her children the chance to have a meaningful relationship with their dad make her a truly reprehensible character. Bex however, doesn't seem to mind much as she quickly forgives her mother's lies.

The large amount of sexual innuendo and Bex's constant desire to become sexually involved with Jack draw the focus away from aspects of the story that are much more interesting. Fortunately, Bennet does get her story on track in the latter half of the novel. Jack and his life have been a mystery to Bex up until now and there's a good reason why. Jack takes Bex to visit his "lady friend" who turns out to be his twin sister, Jillian, a schizophrenic. It is hauntingly tender scene. Jack is completely undone by his sister's descent into full blown schizophrenia. He treats her with respect, care and concern, resulting in Bex seeing Jack's true character and diverting her attention (momentarily) away from their mutual physical attraction. After their visit Jack explains to Bex how his beautiful sister changed from "being homecoming princess to someone who stopped wearing makeup and dressed like a slob."  to someone so paranoid she stabbed her own mother.  Jack reveals how this has affected him and how he mourns for the sister who "won't have a normal life. She won't ever go to school again, and she won't get married or have kids."  He also reveals that part of his pain arises from his parents determination to hide his sister's true condition, believing the stigma of a mental illness will negatively affect his father's political aspirations.

All of this has led Jack to question whether Bex would want to be involved with him. This does not prove to be a deterrent to Bex who proves herself to be open minded and brave. And it is through her that Jack's family changes how they deal with Jillian's mental illness. When her plans for the art show fall through, Bex decides to use her artistic ability to humanize Jillian's illness by drawing her portrait.

"Jillian's round face was painted in quick strokes. I'd copied her hair from old photos, dark and bobbed and swooping over her forehead. Her big eyes were open, and she was smiling shyly...Minnie's dissected arm and half-chest were superimposed over Jillian. But instead of looking alike the dead flesh I'd originally drawn, I'd painted it to look like the dissections were doors opening to reveal her muscles and organs -- like the back of a clock removed to show the cogs and wheels...
And in place of the usual anatomical diagram labels to identify the names of bones and muscles, I substituted words from Jillian's ramblings. Memories of her childhood cat. Her first boyfriend. Her favorite book...
Hundreds of words. They filled the space around her, connected by diagram lines and curling veins..."

Bex titled her work,  Hebe Immortalized" because, as the Mayor tells onlookers, "hebephrenia is another name for disorganized schizophrenia.  After the exhibition, Jack's father approaches Bex to purchase her painting. When she asks him why, he reveals that "...it made me realize I don't see my daughter as much as I should."  Ultimately it leads to the Mayor working to help obtain funds for "a new outreach program for homeless people with psychiatric needs..."  It would have been wonderful if Bennet could have had a rendering of Bex's painting. However, perhaps it's fitting she's left what it looks like to each reader's imagination.

One of the strengths of this novel is the journey Bex takes in determining how she's going to use her artistic abilities. At the beginning of the novel she's decided to be a medical illustrator. She's stopped using colour and only draws in black and white. Bex doesn't believe she's a creative person as she tells Jack, "And I'm not creative -- I mean, not in a cool way. I used to paint, but color overwhelms me now. Maybe my tastes have changed over the last couple of years -- I don't know. It's easier when I leave emotion out of it and just focus on line and shadow..." However, Bex quickly finds that she doesn't have the stomach for drawing from cadavers. When her mother questions why she's chose this route, Bex tells her she's being practical and hopes that her skills will one day save lives.  However, her mother tells her, "Art shouldn't be practical. It should be emotional and expressive. There are other ways to save people's lives than drawing teaching diagrams for med students. You could do something bigger. Something that makes people happy -- and that makes you happy." Eventually circumstances push Bex into considering another way to be creative, a way that melds her anatomical drawings with artistic flair. That change comes after meeting Jack's sister, Jillian, and offers Bex a chance to use her artistic abilities to speak for those who can't.

The Anatomical Shape of A Heart is a book best read by older teens due to the mature content.

Book Details:

The Anatomical Shape of A Heart by Jenn Bennet
New York: Feiwel and Friends Book     2015
294 pp.